A Journey of Blessing

The Long-Awaited Photos

2006-12-15T14:58:00.000-08:00

Genevieve
Lynn
12-04-06
3:33 pm
7 lbs 0 oz
20" long

"THE CALL!"

2006-12-14T19:48:00.000-08:00

December 6, 2006
I spent this morning fasting & praying, as we waited for a call from Angela. At 12:30 pm, my office phone rang, and she said the words we have been waiting to hear: "Michele, you're a mom! She chose you!" Angela told me that there was a baby girl waiting all alone in a Washington hospital room for us, and that we needed to go get her as quickly as possible!

I immediately called Calvin at work, but the "phone Nazi" didn't want to let me talk to him. After much insistence that was getting nowhere, I finally said, "Well, can you please tell him that he's having a baby today?!" (And then she abruptly hung up on me in her surprise.) Thankfully, the news quickly reached Calvin, and he called me back.

Angela instructed me to go get groceries for the next week, as we would need to stay in Washington until the interstate compact paperwork went through. So, I went to the Target just down the block from my office, and raced around throwing items in my cart. Half an hour later, I pushed a shopping cart to my car, full of who-knows-what. (You mean my brain is supposed to function, and rationally plan a week's worth of meals, and compare prices right now?)

We spent the next couple hours throwing things in our suitcases, installing the carseat, making phone calls, and putting a hold on our mail. We picked up Subway sandwiches, and tried to stay within the speed limit, as we headed up to Washington. After a few wrong turns, we made it to our destination!

We had arranged to meet Colleen, a Washington caseworker, at her hotel, so we parked in the lot, rolled down our window, and greeted the gray-haired lady waiting in the car next to us. "Hi, Colleen!" She smiled, and said "Hi!" {slight pause} "Well, we're here!" {slight pause} Then the lady spoke again: "Um, are you lost?" (So, you're not Colleen, huh?) Just then, the REAL Colleen parked alongside us, and laughed hilariously at the situation along with us. (The lady just rolled up her car window.)

She led us to the hospital (in such a rush that we accidentally left the camera in the car), and we attempted to enter the hospital at 10:45 pm. We ended up needing to be escorted by a security guard from the ER up to the OB floor. During the walk, we found out that he had adopted two kids, and Colleen had adopted nine!

When we reached the OB department, we saw a doctor in burgundy scrubs holding a quilted bundle. We hopefully asked, "Is that our baby?" He laughed and said, "I don't know, I just picked up this crying baby!" (Yes, it was our baby!) The nurses quickly ushered us into room #207, where we finally came face to face with our little miracle. In the otherwise empty hospital room, her bassinet sat under the TV, which was quietly playing "Miracle on 34th St."

Our little princess was laid there amongst her quilts in her donated pink romper, capturing us immediately with her bright eyes, lovely dark locks of hair, and intent spirit. We spent the next surreal couple of hours cuddling her, feeding her a bottle, and changing her diaper. Dearest one, we loved you before we knew you, and now that we know you, we love you just because you're you. We praise God for faithfully fulfilling His promise in uniting us with you, and we pray for His anointing upon you.

This evening we bestowed a new name upon our daughter: Genevieve Lynn. This name is reminiscent of our journey; God met with us many times as we watched stormy waves crashing on blustery coasts, stood in awe of waterfalls, and rested by peaceful rivers, as He inspired us along in our journey, and called us to step "out of the boat." "Genevieve" means "white wave", and "Lynn" means "waterfall or river." Lynn was also chosen to honor many dear family members and friends, as well as her nickname "Jennylyn" in honor of a precious friend, who embodies our dreams for our daughter. (Although the much-esteemed football favorite, Lynn Swan, has since been suggested as a possible inspiration as well...)

We returned to the hotel, where we attempted to find a room for an undetermined number of days. The night-shift clerk quickly endeared herself to us, as she told us of the joy she has in celebrating life with her grandchildren on a daily basis. As soon as she found out why we had walked in her doors, she said "I'm a Christian, and I want to help you!" She explaned that her new manager trusted her, and she proceeded to give us every discount in the books! We "ended up" with the only room available... with two queen-sized beds, a sitting area, and a small "kitchenette." We had plenty of room for all of our luggage, groceries, and the baby bed!

We spent a restless night in room #343, already keenly feeling the separation from our baby girl. Calvin whispered her name in his sleep, while Michele awaited morning's arrival.

Quick Decision

2006-12-06T09:09:00.000-08:00

December 5, 2006
Our caseworker, Angela, called at 4:30 pm to tell us about a baby that was born last night! She needed to know within the next 20 minutes whether or not we would like to be considered for this baby. Thankfully, Calvin was running a little later than he had planned, so he was home to take the call. He called Michele at work immediately, and we both overwhemingly felt like we should say "yes" to the situation, even though we didn't have much time to mull it over. So, Calvin called Angela back to let her know our decision. Please keep this little baby in your prayers, while waiting for a family, and be praying for the birthmom at this time as well.

Openness

2006-11-29T14:01:00.000-08:00

November 29, 2006
I just read a great article written by an adoptive mom: Open Adoption, and wanted to share it with you. It was really inspiring to read about her open adoption experience, and encourages me in our hopes for the future. I loved reading about their time before, during, and after their daughter's birth- here in the Northwest!

A Couple Birthmoms

2006-11-27T15:29:00.000-08:00

November 27, 2006
Our caseworker, Angela, called me at the office this afternoon to let me know about two potiential birthmoms. (It's funny- just yesterday, Calvin said, "I bet Angela will call us next week after Thanksgiving!") She gave me an overview of their situations, and wanted to know if we were willing to have our books shown. She needed to know our decision by later this afternoon, since she is leaving soon on a business trip (amidst the new snow that has fallen upon many areas of Oregon!). So, when Calvin got off work, we talked it over. We decided we would agree to be shown to both moms, so Calvin called Angela, and let her know. One mom is 6-months pregnant, and the other mom is due at the end of January. Please be praying for these two women as they begin meeting with their counselors, and making decisions.

Why I Blog

2006-11-17T14:59:00.000-08:00

November 17, 2006
I read an article online today that encouraged waiting adoptive families to journal while they wait: Writing Through the Wait. It really summed up why this blog exists. We write to not only keep our friends and family updated, but we blog as a way of documenting our journey. We appreciate everyone who is journeying along with us, and love reading your comments & emails.

We've Finished More Steps!

2006-11-14T16:55:00.000-08:00

November 14, 2006
Angela finally called us back yesterday to let us know where to send the final two copies of our profile albums that Steve had printed for us. (She had been out of the office for a few days last week.) So now we can get them off to the correct offices! She also sent an e-mail the other day, letting us know that this year's criminal background checks had been completed. It is such a relief to have these big steps completed!

An Adoption Story

2006-11-14T09:21:00.000-08:00

November 13, 2006
This week, Family Life is doing a radio broadcast series about adoption. They began the week by inviting Focus on the Family's Dr. Jim Dobson to speak about adopting his son, Ryan. (Ryan was on the program as well). It was certainly inspiring! You can listen/read the program here: Amplifying the Voice of the Orphan. I definitely recommend taking a few minutes to check it out, along with the rest of this week's broadcasts.

Facing the Giants

2006-11-12T19:48:00.000-08:00

November 12, 2006
Yesterday, Sheli and I drove to Salem to catch an afternoon mantinee of Facing the Giants. It's a movie made and produced by a bunch of Christians, so it was full of scripture and God working in people's lives. What I really appreciated in the movie was how honest it was about how life can hurt, but nothing is impossible with God.

The movie is a story of a high school football coach who trying to lead an apathetic and struggling football team. Because he doesn't have a winning record, a group of dads is working to get him fired. On top of all this, he and his wife are struggling with infertility. The guy is just broken and feels like a loser at life until he surrenders it all to Jesus and tells God he will still love Him and glorify Him if they have children or not. He then applies this faith to his football team, and sees God not only dramatically change his life, but the life of each one of the guys on his team.
This movie is incredibly moving. While it's full of hope and happy endings, it's also full of pain and the nitty-gritty "gotta-keep-moving-even-when-it-hurts" type of emotion. I was in tears through most of the movie. There's awesome passion not only in the coach's wrestle with God, but in how the team learns to glorify God on the field as well.

The movie was definitely used by our Father to tell us, "Keep on!" The song played during the closing credits was Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns. This is the song God used to persuade me to get out of the boat and trust Him in deciding to adopt. The message that kept hitting me was to give my best and trust God to do the impossible; to prepare my fields for the miracle of rain after a drought. Sheli saw how God has been the coach to her, telling her that He needs her to keep going, to not give up. We both identified with the quote that "I never know I could miss so much someone I've never met," as we cling to the faith of waiting for this real little person that God has for us.

Whoever suggests that the process of adoption is easy during the "waiting time" doesn't know which side of his bread is buttered. In other words, he doesn't have a clue. Sheli and I are going through intense, spiritual hand-to-hand combat as Satan seeks to discourage, disillusion, and distract. Pray! So much more is at stake than simply us being a happy family. We have come to believe that the enemy hates a new image of God being in a family that will glorify Jesus. I also think Satan hates it when Christians will step out in faith, because that brings us so much closer to God.

By the way, I don't want to be anywhere else than right here in life.

A Friend's Gift

2006-11-09T09:44:00.000-08:00

November 8, 2006
Our friend Steve found us at our Bible study at church, and brought in the final two copies of our profile book pages! He did an amazing job; printing them on nice photo paper with great ink quality. Plus, we were impressed that he had completed them so quickly. Thank you, Steve! We are so greatful for God's provision in this. Now we need to put them in order, and send them up to the correct agency offices.

Walking in Prayer

2006-11-06T12:30:00.000-08:00

November 6, 2006
This weekend I spent some time with a friend I hadn't seen for a few months. Through most of our adoption journey, she has been very supportive and encouraging, but I was disappointed to find out that it seems she is tired of waiting, and has given up hoping. She actually asked me what we're going to do when our homestudy expires next year! Of course, my first response was a lighthearted, "Well, hopefully we have a baby by then!" But honestly, right now, we feel like that is the only response we CAN have: a response of FAITH. We are focused on walking this journey day-by-day as God leads us, and for now, He is directing us to walk in faith and intercession.

Through our time of waiting- even from the very first day- we have felt like there is a spiritual battle going on, as we "stand in the gap" for the birthmoms we hear about, and for our future child. We feel like adoption is a huge part of God's heart (He adopted us!), and He has been faithful speak to us through dreams, readings, music, and prayers as we seek His guidance in how we should pray. As Dutch Sheets writes in his book, Authority in Prayer:

"Kingly intercession. It is God’s royal priesthood reigning in life through the authority of Christ. As you intercede for individuals, places, or situations, the Holy Spirit will at times lead you to move into this type of prayer. When He does, be bold and respond in faith. Don't waver. You do have kingly authority."

In response to this thought, we are so thankful for those that are still interceding; prayers are so vital, and the loss of a prayer warrior is indeed a great loss. Later this weekend, we were encouraged to spend time with some other friends who are still clinging to faith along with us, even though they are going through their own infertility journey. When they visit, they always go straight to our nursery to spend a few minutes in there. We were preparing a meal in the kitchen while our friends were in the nursery, and suddenly, we heard the husband say excitedly, "Hey, it's all 'duded' up in here!" We had such a good laugh to hear him celebrating (and to hear the evidence that he's been reading Westerns on his last week's hunting trip!)

Our adoption agency has a prayer calendar that many families are following, and here is a prayer one adoptive mom wrote this weekend for her waiting friends:

"Today we are to pray for adoptive parents that are still in the waiting phase of this journey. Dear God, you are a gracious and loving Father who knows the deepest desires of our hearts. I pray that you would continue to give each of us a peace that passes ALL understanding. Your plan is perfect and we rest in your sovereignty. We do pray that you would bring many of our children home to us and bring life to the many nurseries that many of us have begun. Yet, while we wait we pray that you would hold us close and continue to remind us that you have something so fabulous in store for each of our families that we could never think, dream or imagine all that good gifts that you have in store for us. May your will be done in each of our lives and families. Praying and Fasting with so many of you!!!"

A Love of Reading & Music

2006-11-02T15:38:00.000-08:00

November 2, 2006
The other day, a friend was mentioning that she would like to order some books she had in mind for us (well, for our kid, actually). So, if anyone else has the same idea (the holidays are coming!), we've put together a list on an amazon.com baby registry. Have fun browsing, and reminiscing over your childhood favorites- we did!

Found!

2006-11-02T10:24:00.000-08:00

November 2, 2006
I just recieved an e-mail from Angela, letting me know that the Seattle office discovered what had happened to our background checks. Apparently, they received them on Oct. 20th, and sent them out that day for processing, but forgot to notify our caseworker in Oregon that it was being done. So, now we're just waiting for the background checks to be completed (they can take awhile.) Thanks, God, for once again finding what was lost!

Angela also told us that she had received our "mailable" albums today, and said they "looked great." She thanked us for updating the information reference sheet as well.

Background Check: MIA?

2006-11-01T16:24:00.000-08:00

November 1, 2006
Calvin talked to Angela today, and found out that the Seattle office doesn't remember receiving our Criminal Background Check forms that we sent Oct. 17th. So, for now they are missing. There was a substitute receptionist today, but they will start going through files to see if they can find them. Please pray that they will be found! It is important that we have a current background check on file for our adoption.

It sounds like Angela (our caseworker) is getting overworked, and a bit tired of our various issues. Please be praying for her. In case you haven't realized it yet, adoption can be an intense, stressful journey, and she's right in the middle of it for many families- not just ours!

After church this evening, we drove by Steve's house, and dropped off our CD with our profile book files, so that he can work on printing the pages out. He seemed really excited to work on it!

More Steps Completed!

2006-11-01T08:50:00.000-08:00

November 1, 2006
This week, I've been at the computer every evening, working on printing off our profile album pages. I copied all the files onto a CD to give to Steve tonight, since he's offered to print some copies for us. Yesterday on my lunch break, I had to run to Staples to get more photo paper and portfolio covers for our "mailable" albums. I was excited to find the paper on sale for 50% off! (Thanks, God!)

So, in between trick-or-treaters & loads of laundry (from last weekend's trip) last night, I finally completed our 2 "mailable" albums! They are in flexible plastic portfolio covers, so that they are easier & less costly for the agency to mail to other states/agencies, if needed. In one of our "old books", I also discovered our "information sheet" that the caseworkers refer to, so we updated that as well. (It was amazing to see that we started this journey when I was 23, and now I'm almost 25!) I packed it all up, and we'll mail it to Angela today. Now we just need to pray that Steve will be able to complete our final two copies soon. We also haven't had a chance to proceed with putting together the details for our profile on the adoption agency's website, so we're hoping to do that soon.

Answers to Prayer

2006-10-26T16:55:00.000-07:00

October 26, 2006
We received e-mails from our caseworker today regarding our questions. She clarified what we still need to do in order to get updated copies of all our books to each office. We need to send out a couple more new copies, as well as two "mailable" copies. She also agreed with us to tell birthparent counselors to present our albums with all the pages- including the first page! (It turns out, it was only one counselor that had removed it.)

Steve, the friend of ours that printed our initial books, came up to us last night at church, and asked if we needed any more books printed! Praise God! (He still works for a large computer corporation, and has a room full of inks & printers that he tests.) We will plan on giving him a disc next week with all our files on it, so he can start printing some out. We will keep printing some pages in the meantime, too.

Also, this past weekend, we sent in another grant application. They only look at applications four times a year, so it won't be processed until December. Please keep this in your prayers. We're still praying that God will provide all the finances required for the adoption. A very large sum is due to the agency upon being chosen by a birthmom.

Thank you everyone for your prayers!

E-Mails

2006-10-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

October 24, 2006
Late this evening, we found an e-mail from Angela, giving us an update on one of the birthmoms she'd told us about (the one that inspired us to "rush" our books). This mom's due date was Nov. 9th, but she actually gave birth last week! She decided not to work with Bethany, and chose to go with the state instead. Her baby is now in a foster-to-adopt home.

According to her e-mail, it also sounds like there has been some confusion on the number/format of profile books we need to provide, since there has been some reorganization of offices/caseworkers. We e-mailed her for more information.

In our e-mail, we also presented some questions we had regarding the removal of the 1st page of our profile book. Mainly, our issue was that it was being removed without our knowledge or consent, and that a decision was being made FOR a birthmom. No one was given any options. We are hoping for more clarification and feedback on the situation.

I was encouraged to read the following quote on an adoption website:

"Take heart, i am in complete control. I am the definition of holiness and love. All of my ways are right and true, all of my decisions are best, and I will not rest until my plan has been completed." "THERE IS COMFORT IN YOUR MOMENT OF GREATEST MYESTERY." There is encouragement in your time of greatest confusion, and HOPE in your moment of greatest discouragement. Your world is not a world of constant chaos controlled by impersonal forces. Your destiny is not in your hands or in the hands of other people [caseworkers, birthmoms, family members, etc.. ] YOU ARE HELD IN THE HANDS OF YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER, WHO RULES EVERYTHING! You are a child of the King of Kings and you live under the shadow of his wing. You are part of his plan. That means that the exercise of his power and authority is for your BLESSING!!! (excerpt from "Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands" by Paul David Tripp-he is the brother of Tedd Tripp who wrote "Shephering a Child's Heart")

Here's The Photo

2006-10-24T11:35:00.000-07:00

A Loving Family...Or a Scandalous Photo?

2006-10-23T18:50:00.000-07:00

October 23, 2006

We received a call from Angela today, to let us know about a new pregnant mom, and to give us some updates. She gave us some information about this mom, and let us know that she is due Jan. 20th. This mom could really use the blessing of God's power & loving guidance in her life. Please be praying for her.

The two pregnant moms (due in November) that we've mentioned recently are both meeting with their caseworkers this week. One of them is the mom that inspired us to rush the completion of our profile books, and she will be receiving one of our new books to look at! Please keep them both in your prayers today.

Calvin asked Angela if she could give us her impression of our new books, from a caseworker's perspective. Overall, she really liked our books, and said they were much clearer and more concise than our previous ones. She did mention, though, that some caseworkers have been removing our first page, thinking birthmoms would be offended by our photo. Either it is scandalous for Michele to have taken off her shoes, or they don't like a picture of a wife snuggling in her soul mate's lap. We've been discussing it, and I think we're going to request that they cease censoring our book, and leave the book intact.

This picture really shows a very accurate snapshot of who we are as a family. It was the photo we included with our Christmas cards last year, and a large copy is displayed in our home. This is a photo of us as a deeply in love married couple, who are soul mates longing for a baby. And if birthmoms aren't comfortable with it, then we aren't they family they should choose. We would feel more comfortable knowing that birthparents had actually seen this photo and decided against us, than knowing that it was hidden from them- and they did choose us!

We anticipate that our children will witness the hugs & kisses of their mommy & daddy someday. (We hope they do!) Growing up, we both were raised in families where our parents showed affection for each other (and still do!), and I think our lives are richer because of it. Even now, decades later, it provides joy in seeing how much our parents love each other. We want our kids to know that their parents & grandparents are securely married and deeply in love. Birthparents need to be aware of the fact that our family is huggy & snuggly.

(I tried to post a copy of the photo, but blogger is being ornery tonight. I'll try again tomorrow. Sorry!)

Encouraging Words

2006-10-18T16:04:00.000-07:00

October 18, 2006
There is a lady I know of (through our adoption agency's online support groups) who has a heart for adoption. For now, God has closed the door to adoption for her, but he has given her some other amazing ministries; one of which is ministering to those involved in adoption (pregnant moms & waiting adoptive parents). She has posted some "encouraging words" online for those waiting to adopt, and I thought I would share a couple of her posts with you:

Saint Theresa's prayer: May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.
Lamentations 3: 21-25: "This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'Therefore I hope in Him!' The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him." Have a great day knowing that God has compassion for us and his mercy never fails! AND....the Lord is good to those who WAIT!

Marathon

2006-10-17T20:59:00.000-07:00

October 17, 2006
Yesterday, Angela called to let us know about another birthmom situation, and we agreed to have our books shown. This mom is due November 9th. Then we realized... "Hey, we're almost finished with our *new* books; why don't we just rush a couple of them up to the office?" And thus began the marathon of our next 24 hours.

As soon as I got home from work, I parked myself in front of the computer, and cranked out the new pages, as the printer ink dwindled, and my hot tea intake increased. For awhile, Calvin kept me company by playing his guitar, but at about 12:30 in the morning, we decided that Calvin should get some rest, so that he could actually see to drive these books to Portland.

At 2:00 am, I crawled into bed, after printing half of the pages, with the intent to continue in the morning... if the printer ink would hold out. At 5:00 am, the alarm went off, and it began again. We filled out our criminal background check forms to put in the mail this morning, and I turned the computer back on. (Why did I turn it off?)

I printed off more pages until the printer ink supply was non-existent. Then I turned to my Plan B: the internet. Our local Staples supposedly has a handy system in which you can download your files, and they will print them for you at their copy center. Unfortunately, the estimated download time for each of my pages was 30 minutes on our slow dial-up connection. (Hmm... 30 min. x 10 pages = more time than I have.) So I quickly burned them to a CD, and went in to the office early to make use of the snazzy DSL to send in the files.

Then the ugly reputation of our local Staples reared its head. After multiple attempts to utilize their "easy, professional" copy/print program, I discovered that it was conveniently eliminating the bottom inch or two from all of my pages. I called them up for assistance. To make a long story short, they were unable to help, due to their many "lunch breaks" (how many does a person get in a day?) and a "quick print job" suddenly took a personal visit from an obnoxious customer: ME.

I finally garnered a promise that our copies would be ready by 2:00 pm in time for Calvin to pick them up and drive them to Portland. (He only had a short window of time between getting off work, and going to his evening class.) When he arrived, they had to search for 15 minutes to find the pages, and they needed reminding to return our CD.

Calvin raced up to Portland, and made it to the office before Angela left. He dropped off the two books, and headed back. He arrived at school just a couple minutes late. We found out that the pregnant mom hasn't scheduled her next appointment with her caseworker yet, so we don't know when/if she'll recieve a copy of our book. Regardless, it was nice to give ourselves a "self-imposed deadline" toward completion, even if it's not for this particular mom. Now we need to print off the rest of the books soon, so all the offices have the same copies.

Meanwhile, please be praying for the birthmoms we've mentioned this past week. They're each facing difficult situations right now, and could really use God's loving peace & direction.

Background Checks

2006-10-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

October 16, 2006
This weekend, we received an envelope from the adoption agency containing forms for us to have criminal background checks done. This was a surprise, since we already completed them last year. So, Calvin called Angela this morning to find out what was going on. Apparently, the agency has a policy that families have a new background check every year, and it's been over a year since our last one.

The good news is that we don't have to pay for fingerprinting again. Thankfully, those don't change! Good thing we haven't committed any crimes over the past year! (hehe!) So, we will get those forms filled out and sent back in.

We spent the weekend at the computer, working on pages for our adoption profile album. I think we're getting close to completing them. Then we'll need to print off six copies of each page. (There needs to be 6 profile books, so that they are available at all the nearby offices.)

E-Mail Update

2006-10-12T13:20:00.000-07:00

October 12, 2006
We received an e-mail from our caseworker today. It was a general e-mail to all the families that are being shown to the birthmom we mentioned the other day, who is working with another agency. Angela updated us on what has gone on so far, and went on to describe the other agency's policies for open adoption relationships as well. Please keep praying for this pregnant mom, and for everyone involved. Here is a bit of her letter:

Dear Families, Since you have been contacted about this new birthmother situation from [Other Agency], it is important to [us] that we are communicating clearly with you. We hope you understand that in events like this one, there are more unknowns and variables than usual. Most agencies vary in procedures. We have color-copied your profile books and sent them to [Other Agency]. We chose to do this in the event that your books are not returned to Bethany. We also want to let you know that your family will remain on the list for Bethany's birthparents to see.

Memory Clog

2006-10-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

October 11, 2006
The other night I was working on the computer, doing some updated pages for our profile albums, when everything started going really slow. And then the messages started popping up, telling me it didn't have enough memory to complete tasks. I had anticipated this would happen soon, since I know that Photoshop files are very large. (I had just hoped it wasn't going to happen at 10:00 pm!)

So, Calvin went to Staples this morning, and got a "memory storage device" for the computer. He was able to transfer all our huge files over, defragged the computer, and it is working much better now! (We didn't want to just save our files in a smaller format at this point, since we want to still have the option of changing/updating them later to save us some work in the future- whether for this adoption or a future one.) As an extra blessing, Staples was offering a huge rebate, which made the purchase a lot easier to handle! (Thanks, God!)

A New Decision

2006-10-09T14:20:00.000-07:00

October 9, 2006
I received a phone call from Angela, our caseworker, today. She was contacted by another agency in the area, who was requesting adoptive family profiles for a pregnant mom. Apparently, this mom has a very specific list of requirements for an adoptive family, so they've started asking around.

Angela needed to ask us some specifics about our file, but she said that we seemed to meet the mom's requirements. Angela was also able to give us some background information on the baby/birthmom, and wanted to make sure we were ok with the situation before sending our book. We agreed to have our book shown, so she will send it along. She did preface her information by letting me know that sometimes it can be a bit more difficult/slow when working with another agency, and they may not call back with updates. (Just a warning for any of you who might tend to be anxious or impatient! hehe!)

Please be praying for this mom during the next month or so. (She is due November 12th.) She is facing some very difficult decisions, and could really use God's peace & direction during this time.

A Weekend at the Computer

2006-10-08T19:23:00.000-07:00

October 8, 2006
For the past few days, we have been working on new pages for our updated adoption profile albums. We've each been rewriting our "Dear Birthparent" letters (we each write letters to the mom and to dad, so 4 letters total). I've been doing our pages with "digital scrapbooking" products using Adobe Photoshop Elements. It's nice to be able to print off as many pages we need without scanning them in, plus I can easily change them, if needed.

We've had fun watching the "Estimated Pages Left" counter on our printer ink cartridge. (Everytime we print, a message pops up, telling us the estimated number of pages it could still print, based on the amount of ink left.) Instead of decreasing, the number seems to be increasing! God is in the business of multiplying- kind of like Elisha and the oil & flour (2 Kings 4:1-7) or Jesus and the loaves and fishes (Matthew 14:13-21). So, we know God can multiply our family someday as well.

Today, we visited a church, and were excited to meet a couple who is in the middle of adopting as well! They stood up to announce a prayer request for their homestudy this week. They will be going through DHS, so their journey is a bit different from ours. It was neat to see the church family surrounding them in prayer and encouragement. I think we'll go back.

Employer Reference

2006-10-05T11:41:00.000-07:00

October 4, 2006
This morning, Michele's boss completed the employer reference form that the agency required to update our file (from my job change a few months ago). Hooray! Another step completed! (It was nice to know that she had positive things to say about me, too.)

We had planned on taking our camera to Bible study this evening to get updated photos of our friends... but we forgot the camera again. Oops. Maybe it was for the best, anyway. Two of our friends have knee injuries right now, so with their pain medication and crutches, the pictures could have turned out to be pretty interesting!

Busy, Busy...

2006-10-02T15:52:00.000-07:00

October 1, 2006
This weekend, we started going through a copy of our profile books that birthmoms have been looking at. We're planning on updating some of the pages, since it's been over a year since we made the books. Although our caseworker still thinks our books are "cute," we feel like it would be a disservice to a birthmom by giving an inacurate representation of ourselves. Changing our books may not necessarily "make us look better" to birthparents; we just think it would be appropriate for our books to keep up with our life changes. It seems reasonable that birthparents would appreciate a current view of our life. (And some of the photos are really old!) It is always a challenge to represent an ongoing 3-dimensional life on 2-dimensional pages! I mean, think about it... who were you one or two or three years ago, and what were you doing?

So, we ordered about $100 worth of office supplies/printer ink to do the two additional books the agency has requested, as well as the updates for the existing books. (Here's hoping for a Staples rebate...) We're not sure how long it will take to update our pages, so for now, we will keep our "old" books in the offices. With Calvin using the computer for some classes he's taking now, we have to take turns on the computer!

Then, for fun, I worked on wall decorations in the nursery! About a month ago, my secret sister gave me a package of special large "wall stickers" in the shape of moon & star designs! (Thank you!) I put them up above the crib, and was thrilled to see the rosy red cheeks of the smiling, dancing stars brighten up the room. It seems more "happy" in there now! I took pictures, so hopefully we'll get them developed soon, and I can post them.

The sling carrier I had ordered also arrived last week, which is really exciting. We now have a method to go out of the house/car with our baby (maybe the grocery store or church?), since we won't be using one of those big bulky plastic carrier seats. You can view it here: Lucky Baby. It's the turquoise dot color.

For those of you who have been asking/wondering... no, we haven't heard any updates from our caseworker this week. It's not unusual to have our profile books shown, and not hear anything further. So, we've learned not to "get our hopes up" with each showing. We just see it as an opportunity to pray for a specific mom, while we wait for our baby.

Quick Decision

2006-09-21T16:51:00.000-07:00

September 21, 2006
I received a call from Angela today, saying that they had a crazy surprise at the office this morning. They had received a call from another agency, saying they needed Bethany to send over some family profiles for a birthmom... who needed to place her baby tomorrow! So, Angela filled us in on the details surrounding this 8-month-old baby boy. She needed to know our decision ASAP, so they could send the profile books over today.

I called Calvin at work to discuss it with him, and we both decided to pray about it for the next couple hours before calling Angela back. We ended up feeling like we wouldn't be the best parents for this situation, and let Angela know that God was not leading us to move forward. We were relieved to know, however, that other families were willing to be shown, so we know this baby boy be in his home soon! Angela was encouraging, and agreed that she felt that we probably wouldn't take this situation. Please pray for this little boy during his time of transition, for his birthmom, and for the adoptive family.

She also let us know that the 5-months-pregnant birthmom we had heard about has been working on choosing an adoptive family. She has narrowed it down to a couple families, and we're not one of them. If you could, please remember her in your prayers as she makes this difficult decision, and goes through the next few months of pregnancy.

Angela said she hasn't heard anything further yet about the pregnant mom that is due next week, so please keep praying for her as well.

That Sneaky Caller ID Again...

2006-09-20T15:57:00.000-07:00

September 20, 2006
Well, it's that sneaky Caller ID again! Angela called me at the office, and my boss wanted to know who I was talking to, so she went and searched the Caller ID box to see who was on the phone! (We were supposed to be heading out the door to meet a client.)

Angela called to let me know that another birthmom is looking at our book... and she's due a week from today! She wanted to make sure we were prepared, and were ok with the situation. I told her we're definitely ready!

As my boss & I left the office, and were driving to our client's house, she started asking me questions about the adoption. (ie "Can they change their mind?" "Will they know where you live?", etc.) She's in our Bible Study, and has been praying for our adoption for months. It was neat to be able to answer her questions. She was really excited that we're planning on an open adoption, and agreed that it would be good for a child to have some knowledge of their family history. (My boss doesn't know anything about her birthdad, and has always wished she did.)

I called Calvin, and we prayed together for this pregnant mom, and for whichever family she chooses.

Caller ID

2006-09-11T10:54:00.000-07:00

September 11, 2006
While sitting at my desk at work this morning, the phone rang (of course), but guess who showed up on my Caller ID? Bethany Christian Services- our adoption agency! We don't have caller ID at home, so it's still an exciting novelty for me at work.

It was Angela, our caseworker, calling with information about a potential birthmother, who is 5-months pregnant. She gave me the details, and wanted to confirm that it is ok to show her our books. Since Calvin's cell phone is out-of-range today, I wasn't able to discuss it with him. But thankfully, we've had this "what if" discussion before. So, I was able to tell her to go ahead and show our books. This pregnant mom will be meeting with her caseworker tomorrow. So, please be praying for her.

Also, Angela said she had been able to look through our profile book while preparing our file, and thought it was great. She said we're "a cute couple." It was good to hear that positive feedback, since we were starting to "second guess" our books.

A Piece of Paper

2006-09-07T09:20:00.000-07:00

September 7, 2006
Last night before I headed to bed, I went around the house in my pajamas, gathering up the forms we had completed for the adoption agency. As I was putting them in the envelope, I noticed the small print on the bottom of the financial form, requesting that we include a copy of the last page of our 1040 tax form! So, I dug through the files, and found the taxes (hooray!).

Thankfully, our printer can also do copies. So, I thought I was all set... until I could only find odd colors of paper... hmm... I wonder if they would mind hot pink? blue? red? No, this isn't going to work. I really need to find a piece of white paper. I had intended to buy a ream when I was at the store this afternoon, and completely forgot. My first thought was to look on my scrapbooking/craft table, thinking it would be a likely spot for paper. However, I didn't think all the cardstock I found would be appropriate, either. So, I scoured every notebook and file in the office I could find in search of a blank piece of paper. Still nothing. So, I went back to my craft table, wondering what to do next. I really didn't want to run to Wal-Mart at 10:00 pm, since I only needed ONE page! I started looking through one of my folders on the desk again, when a blank piece of paper showed up!

Isn't it exciting to see God in the small details? I celebrated, thanking God, as I slipped the piece of paper in the printer, and copied the necessary page. It reminded me of the many Bibilical accounts of people searching for what was lost (lost coins, lost sheep...). God is certainly in the business of finding things! It encourages me that God knows the greater details of where our child is, and will bring him/her home to us.

More Insurance Frustrations

2006-09-05T12:14:00.000-07:00

September 5, 2006
I received a call today from one of the insurance reps; they're still fussing over details. I've also been talking with my boss's (not-so-helpful) accountant. On Thursday, I had faxed information to her about the insurance deduction, so that she could properly complete my pay statement for my paycheck. She didn't understand what it meant, so she just ignored it, instead of calling me. Thus, she completed my pay statement as usual, and then left early for vacation. My boss didn't know how to handle an insurance deduction on her own, which means I didn't receive my paycheck!

Please pray that everything will be taken care of in this "Bermuda Triangle" of Insurance, Accounting, and Us! We need to make sure we have insurance in place for our adoption, and to take care of our family.

Details and Mix-Ups

2006-09-05T10:50:00.000-07:00

September 1, 2006
Well, the insurance company had some mix-ups again. Michele spent a large part of the afternoon on the phone with the various insurance reps, in order to iron out all the wrinkles with insurance details. We are disappointed that her boss's frustration and confusion is now falling upon us. We had hoped to make this as easy as possible, and to not impose on her in any way. To make it more difficult, the insurance company closed early today, so they weren't readily available all day.

They finally faxed over a statement of coverage, which Michele scanned into the computer, and e-mailed to Calvin. Then he was able to print it off to for proof to cancel our existing insurance this afternoon. Thankfully, everyone he needed to see at his work was still in the office.

Then, late this evening, we completed our financial statement for the adoption agency. It was exciting to see that we have paid off some school loan debts over the past year, so our liabilities are lower.

Insurance Marathon

2006-09-05T10:29:00.000-07:00

August 31, 2006
We've been working on getting new health insurance for our family through Michele's work. It's been a series of "speed bumps" in the process, due to too many "middlemen" involved. Each person has added more confusion. It is especially difficult, because it is adding extra frustration for Michele's boss. Unfortunately, we've had to be persistent about it, since we need to turn in our new financial form to the adoption agency.

We found out yesterday that payment is due today, and they are requiring that it be paid by the employer. So, Michele's boss wrote out a check. Then, a few hours before we planned to leave, the car got a flat tire! Thankfully, good ole' Les Schwab was right across the street, so they rushed right over and cheerfully took care of it. We left town right on time to race it up to Portland, in order to get it to the insurance office before 5:00 pm today. We had a few slow spots in traffice, but we made it there in time! (Thanks, God!)

A Testimony...and A Song

2006-08-31T08:58:00.000-07:00

August 30, 2006
We just read that our adoption agency is sponsoring the Christian artist, Mark Schultz's new music video about adoption! You can preview Mark's new videos here: Everything To Me. (Just a warning- it's really slow with "dial-up" internet!) We are excited to see what God will do with Mark's testimony. Take a few minutes to watch it! Here is a quote from the agency's website:

You may have heard of him from the beautiful stories in his songs, but Christian contemporary musician Mark Schultz has now written a new song about his story. Mark was adopted into a Christian family 35+ years ago and his new song, "Everything To Me" is part of his adoption story. Bethany Christian Services is a proud sponsor of Mark's new music video which portrays the challenging and beautiful choice a woman makes to place her baby in an adoption plan.

New Homework

2006-08-29T16:55:00.000-07:00

August 26, 2006
Today in the mail, we received a packet of papers and neat letter from Angela. She sent us all the information we had requested. (She's definitely "on top" of things!)

We have some work to do again, now. We need to do a new financial statement to update our files with Michele's job change. (Time to take a look at our budget again!) Angela also informed us that they need 2 more of our profile books for their office, so we will need to work on getting those printed off. (This is also a good chance to update some of our "outdated" pages.)

Another exciting step included in the packet, were the instructions for creating our profile webpage on the agency website! We will need to send in some photos, and write a "Dear Birthparent" letter describing ourselves.

Rendezvous at Denny's

2006-08-26T16:49:00.000-07:00

August 24, 2006
Thursday evening we met our new caseworker, Angela, for the first time. To spare her the drive all the way to our house from Portland, we met her "halfway" in Salem at a Denny's restaurant. The place seemed older and staler than I remembered from the last time I was there. I think it's because last time I was with our insurance agent who was a guy with a healthy appetite for pancakes. This time we were meeting a professional who might be a little above a stale Denny's. Where's a Starbuck's when you need one?

As it turns out, Angela was completely ok with the arrangement. So over milkshakes and iced tea, we told her of our experiences the past year with Betty and Roxanne and what our needs were at this stage of the journey. She had taken the time to really familiarize herself with our file, which was so refreshing. We left feeling we were listened to and taken seriously. We also told her about ourselves and what we spend our time doing, and she in turn told us about herself. It was interesting to learn that she worked for Holt Adoption Services before coming to Bethany. Before Michele and I chose Bethany, we had considered Holt, but felt God wanted us with Bethany. I suppose you can say it was a rendezvous with Angela in a different sense; God bringing us together at a particular time.

I'm excited to see what happens during our time with Angela. Sometimes it feels as if the end is just around the corner. Other times it feels as if the horizon is the only thing in sight.

His timing, only His timing.

Yet Another Caseworker

2006-08-19T16:05:00.000-07:00

I wonder if we're eligible for the Guinness Book of Records for "number of caseworkers for a single adoption". We received an e-mail yesterday from our third caseworker, introducing herself and saying she wants to meet us in person soon. Her name is Angela, and she's brand-spanking new to Bethany. Maybe it'll be good to work with some new blood.

Meanwhile, Sheli and I (mostly Sheli) have been shopping for baby. We discovered the $1.19 bin at Goodwill. We also bought the all-important diaper pail last weekend. I was thinking of bolting a little basketball hoop above the pail and practicing my free throws after I change the baby. You'd definitely want nothing but net. Hee hee. Anyway, Sheli found some really cute clothes for the kid. I'm wondering if we'll someday hit the jackpot and find a baby in one of these outfits we're buying. But so far, they're all empty.

We love you, Kid, wherever you are!

A Full Weekend

2006-08-07T19:57:00.000-07:00

August 7, 2006
Before we left for an extended weekend with family last week, we called our caseworker, Roxanne, to see if she had heard anything further about the baby in Pennsylvania, and to let her know our contact number for the weekend. She hadn't heard anything, so she called over there to find out. She was told the birthmom had chosen to parent her baby boy. At this point, we were thankful for the foster parents, who had cared for this precious child, and allowed his mother to take her time making a thought-filled decision.

In addition, Roxanne was told about a birthmom, also in Pennsylvania, who is expecting in October. She asked if we would consider having our book shown to her. She explained the situation, and also told us about the Pennsylvania adoption laws. We spent the weekend mulling over the decision we were suddenly faced with. We came to the point where we realized that although we were comfortable with the baby/mom's life situation, the Pennsylvania requirements would not be feasible for us. So, we will be informing Roxanne of our decision not to be shown. (She was out of the office today.) Our hearts ache for this baby, but know that we need to stay within the parameters God has set for our journey, in His perfect plan.

Over the weekend, we were blessed to meet our nephew, 2-months-old, Timothy Asher for the first time. It was incredible to finally hold him, in his 11 pounds of squirmy joy! His coos, drools, smiles, and cries were amazing! We were able to give him a bath in our little baby bathtub, and hold him as he fell asleep afterward, smelling of lavender. This was great practice for us! We also had hands-on experience using our carseat, and chauffered him around as he squeeked and snored the drive away. Thanks, God!

Hold the Rope

2006-07-29T10:59:00.000-07:00

July 29, 2006

Over and over again, we are thankful for the support our friends and family give us during our waiting time. Yesterday, a couple friends took me out to lunch, and gave me a small gift, just to show they cared. Today, I received several encouraging e-mails from my online scrapbooking group. It's amazing to see how God brought us together with an initial hobby, and turned it into a place of prayer support! So, my Paisley Pea friends, I thought of you as I read my daily devotional for today:

"Need A Miracle?" (from "Good Night, Lord" by Quin Sherrer)
"'Expect great things from God; attempt great things for God.' The English clergyman William Carey, considered the father of modern missions, made that his motto. My writing mentor, the late author Jamie Buckingham, passed it on to me. Both of us kept it above our computers as we wrote.
How many times I've expected little because I've forgotten that with God nothing is impossible (see Matt. 19:26).
Take Carey for example. He faced monumental challenges. In 1786 he became an ordained minister at age 25. When he expressed his burning desire to be a missionary, one superior told him bluntly, 'You're an enthusiast. When God desires to converse with the heathen, He'll do it without consulting you or me.' Of course, this devastated Carey.
Carey's friends considered his ideas extravagantly imaginative, and he was branded a renegade. Everywhere he turned he faced oppression. Just as he was about to abandon his vision, he met a man who had been abroad- a man who enthusiastically encouraged him. Carey's dream was rekindled.
Finally, he knew how he could go to Inda: with the help of others. One day Carey sat down with some friends and held up a common rope.
'I will go down to Inda,' he said, 'if you will hold the rope.' By this he meant praying for him, supporting him financially and communicating to the churches back in England regularly. They agreed to be partners in his vision.
Carey went to Inda. As a result, the Bible was translated into 11 languages. By late 1792, a resolution was adopted creating the first Protestant mission agency. Carey knew he could not have gone to India without his partners back in England who were 'holding the rope.'
Sometimes God gives you a dream. You think it can't happen. It would take a miracle. Yet, many of us do not really expect great things from God. Sometimes when we get a little break-through we hesitate to say it was a miracle. But what if it was?
As Jamie Buckingham once wrote: 'Miracles reveal the nature of God. Thus, there are no big miracles and little miracles. All miracles are big- for they reflect the nature of our big God.'
What household doesn't need a miracle of sorts right now? Finances. Reconciliation. Decisions and choices.
The God we serve is not a helpless, hopeless God. He's the Creator of all the universe. Nothing is too hard for Him and nothing is too hard for us to believe Him for. "
"I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" (Jeremiah 32:27).

There is Always Hope

2006-07-18T20:38:00.000-07:00

July 18, 2006
It's been something of a rollercoaster ride in our journey this week. Because we hadn't heard from our caseworker in awhile, I (Calvin) gave her a call for an update. Roxanne informed me that the birthmom who was looking at our album decided on another family. Michele and I figured that was the case, since we hadn't heard anything. To be honest, though, it was a little disappointing. We were already wondering if our albums truly reflect who we are. It was a year ago that Sheli made them, and much has changed during that year. How do you capture life in photographs and hope they are relevent a year later?

During our conversation, our caseworker asked me out of the blue if we would consider having our albums shown in Pennsylvania. There is waiting in foster care an African-American baby boy. He's 2 months old now, and still the Bethany office over there is needing adoptive parents to be considered. We hesitated at first because we really don't have a way to get to Pennsylvania if chosen, much less if the birthmom wanted to have a really open adoption. But Roxanne informed us the mom is interested only in keeping touch with letters and pictures. Michele's parents then said we could use their earned frequent flyer miles to fly out there, if we are chosen. With that assured, we gave our consent for our book to be shown to the birthmom.

Do we dare hope? Of course! Today I read in Malachi 2:15 that the Lord values godly offspring. In my prayer time, I held that truth before the Lord and rejoiced that this is His heart, His desire for us. It's not all about us. It's about us glorifying our Lord in the waiting and the receiving.

Little man, I pray for you as you wait for adoptive parents. May the Lord bless you and cause you to grow strong. May he plant in you a seed of conviction and strength that will someday grow into a stalwart tree under which others may find shade and refuge. Amen

The Labor of Endurance

2006-06-28T17:34:00.000-07:00

June 28, 2006
We received a phone call yesterday from Renee at the Seattle office. Our caseworker, Roxanne, from the Oregon office is on vacation this week, so Renee has been handling her cases for her. Renee called us to tell us about a birthmom who is looking for a family in Oregon. She told us a few details, and asked if we would be willing for our profile to be shown to her. We talked about it, called her back, and asked her lots of questions! She sweetly answered everything with her lovely English accent. We agreed to be shown, so our profile will be included when they meet with the birthmom next week.

This afternoon, I was reading during my lunch break, and came across this inspiring quote:

"In fact, sometimes it's the process itself- not the finished product- that becomes the actual harvest. Often in the labor of endurance we discover what we're made of and what we're in need of. To not grow weary in creative well-doing is to know that true fruitfulness is found not in success but in struggle. Faithfulness is what cultivates the creative soil needed to produce the crop- a harvest that smells strangely like the glorious, ripe grain of glory." - The Art of the Soul: Meditations for the Creative Spirit, by Joy Sawyer

Hannah- Clinging To A Dream

2006-06-13T19:20:00.000-07:00

June 13, 2006
I received an amazing devotional in my e-mail this week. It was about Hannah (1 Samuel 1:10-17). Here are some quotes from it:

"Sometimes we must experience the hurts of life without benefit of sympathetic
counselors or understanding friends. Like Hannah, we must sometimes fight our
struggle alone. Yet not really alone, for God is always a prayer away.

Never dream without prayer. When we talk to others about the dreams in our lives, we often get blind stares of disinterested discouragement - roadblocks, rejection. But when we take our dreams to God, we begin an adventurous journey of faith. It may mean being broken along the way, but only to let our dream escape. It may mean going through seasons of searching, but only to determine how much of our dream is selfish - and to prove how badly we really want God's way. Prayer keeps holy dreams alive.
Hannah was tested... in the midst of families going to offer their worship and their sacrifices, she felt all alone without a child.
We are tested so our character will match our dreams. Christian character is a work in progress for us as believers. When God gives us a dream, we may need a lot of work on and in our lives to enable us to handle the dream. Our sufficiency and strength should always be in God - and God alone. As with Hannah, it usually is a pretty good clue that the test or the dream is from God when things don't work out easily. The greater the dream, the greater the testing.
Do you have a dream that feels like it's dying in your life? Don't give up. Take it to God in prayer today. And trust Him to do more with your dream than you could ever do yourself."
- Jim Henry (From "1 Minute Bible for Women of Character" by LifeWay)

Yard Sale

2006-06-12T19:21:00.000-07:00

June 10, 2006
We spent every spare moment this past week knee deep in "junk" at home, and discovering price tags all over ourselves as we walked around in public. Then, the big day arrived: Yard Sale Day! Our day began at 6:00 am, as we set up tables, and set up our items for sale. There was so much stuff! Friends made some really incredible donations.

It was pretty cloudy all day, but we had a slow stream of people walking through our yard. It was obvious that high gas prices have really curtailed people's "garage sale-ing" habits, but we were still able to make almost $200! None of the large items (refrigerator, computer, etc.) sold, so we may try to put them in the classified ads later.

One of the funniest moments was when a man was so excited to "test-drive" his new bike, that he accidently crashed it into his SUV parked alongside it. He decided to ride the bike home, and left his wife to drive the car!

We loaded up my car with the leftover clothing items to donate to a local Christian mission organization this week. We praise God for the blessing of these additional funds! (Although we're still sore from sitting on the concrete porch steps all day!)

Our New Nephew

2006-05-26T11:24:00.000-07:00

May 25, 2006
We're excited to celebrate the arrival of our amazing nephew, Timothy Asher! This "man-child" vivaciously announced his arrival this morning -3 weeks early- at 11:49 AM (Alaska time), weighing 8 lbs, 4oz, & 21" long, complete with lots of stretches and hitting the nurses! We are looking forward to being his aunt & uncle, and for our future children to have him as a cousin. Thanks, God, for your gift to our family!

Friendship

2006-05-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

May 17, 2006
This morning, our phone rang with a teary phone call from a dear friend. He and his wife just received discouraging news today regarding their infertility treatments, and needed to talk, to pray, to cry. It was a blessing to know that I am married to a man that a guy can feel comfortable calling to cry and pray with him.

Our hearts ache for this dear couple. We're thankful for the empathy our similar experiences have brought us, but oh, how we wish our friends didn't have to go through this too. We long for God to bless them with children, just as much as we desire children in our family. We cling to hope.

I believe it is no accident that our life journeys merged years ago. They have faithfully stood with us during our times of heartache and loss, and celebrated each milestone wholeheartedly. We don't know whether this is a hurdle or a door for them, and we wait alongside them to see what God will do. Please keep this couple in your prayers today.

Mother's Day Gift

2006-05-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

May 15, 2006
When I arrived back at my office on Monday morning, I discovered that my Secret Sister from church had left me a gift for Mother's Day! She included the sweetest card along with it. In her note, she said that she had prayed about what to get me. I love that!

I unwrapped it right away. It was three children's books from the local Christian bookstore! (I love books!) There was the classic, I Love You Forever, along with a book/CD set by Joni Eareckson Tada (based on a song by Steven Curtis Chapman), and a book by Max Lucado.

I'm looking forward to having a little person to read them to. I think I'll have to practice I Love You Forever a few more times! I started reading it out loud to Calvin when I got home, since he'd never read it, but I only got about halfway through before tears stopped me. (That picture of the son holding his little old mommy is a tear-jerker!)

My Secret Sister has been such an encouragement this year. She's always blessing me with notes at just the right time. Thank you!

Mommy Practice

2006-05-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

May 12, 2006
Since we'll be camping for the weekend, this morning I was awakened by "breakfast in bed" for Mother's Day... however, it was served in a bit unexpected manner! I think I got some "mommy practice," as I opened my eyes to cranberry juice pouring down onto our bed, with Calvin standing there, holding a tray. He felt so badly about accidently spilling our breakfast, but we are able to laugh about it now!

So, while he cleaned up the carpet (from a juice trail he left while heading back to the kitchen!), I tossed the *ivory-colored* sheets in the washer, with a generous dose of stain-removing Shout, and bundled up the embroidered comforter to take to the dry cleaner's today. And, yes, I can appreciate that I was able to do this without a juice-covered, sticky-handed kid "helping" me! :) (Otherwise, our first step would have been the bathtub!) {hehehe}

Afterward, I ate my cold, but much appreciated, breakfast of homemade strawberry blintzes at the kitchen table. Then, I packed up stuff for our camping trip, and got ready for work.

When I arrived at work, I was greeted by a trail of Saltine cracker crumbs and a spoon sticking out of the heater vent in my office from yesterday. It brought a smile to my face, as I remembered the previous day's hilarity. I had a busy, 4-year-old boy (isn't that an oxymoron?) spend 5 hours with me in my office yesterday, while his mom was volunteering upstairs. He had fun trying out all my pens and pencils, telling me all about the girl he likes at preschool, pressing buttons on the copy machine, pretending a mailing tube was a "sword," and helping throw away garbage. I spent the day untangling him from kite string, keeping him away from the much-desired paper-cutter, wiping up ice cream, dodging bouncing balls and the errant fly-swatter... and getting some work done in between. I was exhausted when I got home... but I loved my day!

Voice Mail

2006-05-06T19:03:00.000-07:00

May 6, 2006
While we were in Wal-Mart renting a carpet cleaner this morning, Calvin realized that he had a voice mail message on his cell phone. Since the "city of Wal-Mart" didn't have sufficient cell phone reception, he had to go outside to listen to it.

It was a sweet message from Roxanne, compassionately letting us know that the birthmother had chosen a different couple. She was so encouraging, though. We just feel God's joy and blessings flowing through her, every time we hear her voice.

It didn't catch me too much by surprise. This morning, as I was praying for her, I felt a nudge on my heart, saying, "This isn't your baby, but keep praying." So, I prayed throughout the time of her counseling appointment with Roxanne, and I'm so glad it went well.

We are so proud of this birthmother for making a tough decision today, and are so thankful that God blessed us with the opportunity to pray specifically for her this week; to "stand in the gap" as prayer warriors. We are also excited for the family that will be meeting their new son soon!

I guess our emotions in this situation are similar to that of an expectant couple who goes to the hospital, only to be told that it's just "false labor pains," and it's "not time yet!" We are holding on to the faith that God is forming a child just for us... it's just not time yet.

As the song goes, "Que Sera, Sera, Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see..." (I've been listening to this song on Pink Martini's "Sympathique" CD all afternoon!) I'm so glad that God holds the future in His hands, according to His divine plan.

This situation certainly alerted us of how unprepared we were to bring a baby home! It spurred us on to give a more focused effort to preparing (learning how to install the carseat, washing baby clothes, etc.) We've also made a list of the necessary items we will need for a newborn (and for traveling with one!). It was an awakening to our new season of life: being expectant parents. We've realized that it's not only necessary, but normal, for expectant parents to be anxious for their baby's arrival, and to prepare accordingly.

We have been so thankful that God has blessed us with a beautiful day today to open up the windows, and work on our spring cleaning. I also worked on sewing a quilt for a friend's new baby. We're excited for our annual camping trip next week... and for the days to come.

Thank you, everyone for your prayers this week. Your prayers are so vital, and so appreciated!

New Life

2006-05-05T15:45:00.000-07:00

May 5, 2006
Well, it was the real thing! Roxanne called this afternoon to give us an update. The mom gave birth to a baby boy on Wednesday night through a difficult delivery. She's now home resting, and the baby's grandma is caring for him. She has not named her baby. (But we know that God already has a name for him!)

She has an appointment to meet with Roxanne tomorrow morning. Hopefully, this mom will be able to recieve the counseling she needs, and be able to consider her options. As of yet, she has not chosen an adoptive family for her son.

Our hearts and arms just ache for this new mother... to hug her and pray for her during this difficult time. So many changes, decisions... life.

Keep praying!

Loads of Blessing

2006-05-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

May 4, 2006
God has blessed us again! Tonight, we received a huge load of firewood rounds, and a refrigerator! God answered before we even really asked. We were both concerned about how we were going to get enough firewood for this next winter, and also wondering how much longer our noisy refrigerator would last. But, we hadn't talked much about it. Well, God answered through people we don't even know! (They were clients of a friend who needed to get their house/garage emptied out before it sold tomorrow.) They also gave us several pressure-treated 2x4's and a big bag of potting soil! (Yes, God heard my dreams of expanding my flower garden!)

We decided to pass on the blessing, and asked one of the guys from the church youth group if he wanted to help load firewood, in order to earn money for next year's youth group trip. He agreed, and was a wonderful worker! We really appreciated his help.

It took several hours to get everything loaded and unloaded. Our neighbor from across the street helped haul the refrigerator into our kitchen. We'll work on cleaning it and getting it plugged in tomorrow.

Calvin finally convinced me to wash the little jammies, diapers, crib sheets, etc. that we've been saving, so I put in a couple loads to wash while we were unloading the truck. It is so amazing to fold those tiny T-shirts and socks, and to imagine God forming a special someone little enough to fit inside them!

Interesting Update

2006-05-03T15:19:00.000-07:00

May 3, 2006
We decided to give Roxanne a call, to see if she had an update for us. She had an appointment scheduled for this morning with the pregnant woman who has our profile book. However, her mom called Roxanne to cancel the appointment, because they were heading to the hospital! They weren't sure if it was false labor or the real thing yet... although she's only a couple days away from her due date.

They hadn't mentioned if she had chosen adoptive parents yet. But, that's not a decision she needs to be worrying about while she's in labor. If she wants to continue making an adoption plan, she can pick that up again after her baby is born.

Roxanne said she would give us a call if she has any other updates for us. She is supposed to go up to Seattle tomorrow to meet with the other regional caseworkers. (And then she's planning on taking her dad- who has Alzheimer's- to the zoo on Friday.)

I received this verse in my e-mail today, and I keep re-reading it.

"It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ,... he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone." -Ephesians 1:11 (Msg)

Carseat Installation: A Contact Sport

2006-05-03T11:11:00.000-07:00

May 2, 2006
Since it was a beautiful evening, we decided to open up the car, and learn how to install our carseat. We were flipping through two detailed instruction books (the car manual and the carseat manual) to determine the best way of installing it.

While we were both crammed into the car, trying to haul the heavy seat around, adjusting buckles, referring to manuals, etc., suddenly... WHAM!... Calvin's elbow made contact with my nose! Ouch!

We hurried inside to put an ice pack on it, and it seems to be doing fine now; just slightly sore. Who knew carseat installation was a contact sport? Oh, well. At least we got some first aid practice while we were at it.

And, yes, about an hour or so later, the carseat installation was complete. Good job, Calvin! He's planning on calling the fire department later on to schedule a carseat inspection, just to make sure it's correctly installed.

Meeting Roxanne

2006-05-01T14:12:00.000-07:00

April 30, 2006
After spending a wonderful weekend with Calvin's family, we left town much later that we had intended, in order to get to our meeting at the adoption agency. It really looked like there would be no way for us to arrive on time, and we didn't have the caseworker, Roxanne's home phone number. (Although we did leave a message on her office voice mail.) As we rushed down the freeways, we were wishfully praying that God would get us to our appointment with Roxanne on time. Amazingly, He did! We pulled into the parking lot just as the clock clicked to 4:00 on the dot. Thanks, God!

When we arrived, Roxanne was outside the building, and met us at our car. She was embarrassed to tell us that she had forgotten her office keys, and asked if we would mind just talking on the porch with her! So, it was a blessing that we arrived on time, since there was no way for her to answer the phone. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and we didn't mind being on the porch at all; especially after a long road trip!

It was nice to get to know Roxanne a bit better, and for her to learn more about us. She is such a sweet lady, and seems very competent to handle our adoption- she has 5 kids! We told her about my job future, and she didn't even bat an eye. She said we would just have to update our financial information before we finalized an adoption, but it would be no problem! We're praising God for such a positive response!

Roxanne told us that she has been meeting with a birthmom who has been looking at our profile book! The birthmom has taken it with her to consider further, along with a few other ones. We were excited to hear that she has been looking through it, and to be able to answer the questions she had asked Roxanne about us. Then, Roxanne told us that she is due FRIDAY, with a baby boy! Wow! So, Roxanne has been really encouraging her to make a decision.

Roxanne then confirmed with us that we are prepared to leave for about a week at a moment's notice... just in case we get a call about a baby being born (even if it's not this one)!

We feel such peace about this situation. We completely feel that God is in control, and He has brought this information to us for a reason. Right now, we feel like it is so that we can pray for her. It is unusual for us to know ahead of time that a birthmom is considering us. (The caseworkers don't call everytime a book is looked at.) So, we have grabbed ahold of this opportunity to pray for this very specific birthmom and baby. Please join us as we pray this week.

"Spread out your petition before God, and then say, 'Thy will, not mine be done.' The sweetest lesson I have learned in God's school is to let the Lord choose for me." - Dwight L. Moody

A Unique Job Application

2006-04-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

April 24, 2006
I met with a lady from our church/Bible study, who has been an amazing business professional in our community for decades. A few weeks ago, I had heard that she was seeking an assistant, and so I asked her if I could apply for the job. She immediately shouted, "Oh, Praise the Lord!" and gave me a huge hug! Apparently, I am an answer to her prayers. Now, that is the most unique job application process I have ever been through... and the "interview" was even better.

This morning I tried on different outfits, and blow-dried my hair, trying to find the perfect "job interview" outfit. But once I arrived at the office, it was the most comfortable "interview" I've ever had. I'm pretty sure that she looked right past what I was wearing. She laid her heart out on the table, and spoke to me as a friend. She honestly shared with me about her struggles in her prayer life, of her dreams for the future and her family.

As she spoke about the duties the position would entail, I was excited to see how God had placed identical ideas in both of our minds. At that point, I knew that I could offer her competent help in her office, and was ready to sign on board. But as she continued to share her goals, I was even more convinced. She revealed that she is actually pursuing a plan for us (yes, us!) to work from our homes. We live several blocks away from each other, but are each commuting an hour a day to our individual jobs. It might be a slow transition to transfer everything from the office, but it is definitely an answer to so many prayers, as I dream about the future.

She has a very open time-table, and basically let me suggest when I wanted to start work, and offered the exact salary I had in mind. She came up with the idea of gradually transitioning to her office, beginning in June, by doing a couple days of training in her office each week, and working part-time at my current job. (In an effort to benefit everyone.) I spoke with my current boss this morning about this gradual transition. He will present the idea to the board in a couple weeks. Please keep this board meeting in your prayers; that God's desires will prevail.

Thank you to everyone who has kept this job situation in your prayers. My employment is so intertwined with our adoption, as we seek to prepare our lives and home to bring our child home. We will be meeting with the caseworker, Roxanne, on Sunday afternoon. I plan to share with her about my employment plans, and see what she suggests we do regarding our adoption. (Please keep this in your prayers, also!) There will most likely be some paperwork to update, as we give her this information.

Revisiting the Steps of Faith

2006-04-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

April 23, 2006
After almost a year, our church family returned to Hebrews 11 today for our studies. Almost a year ago, we read this "Hall of Faith" chapter, and began our own steps of faith toward adoption. (See the post here: Called to the Impossible.) During our class after the morning service, our teacher instructed us to have a "frank discussion" about faith, and to share our own journeys of faith. As we shared about our past year's journey, and the preparations & sacrifices we are making, a few people had tears in their eyes as they began to see "the whole picture." However, there are still some people who don't understand the underlying foundation to our adoption journey: that the BEST journey with God is a journey of faith... it's not necessarily the route that seems to be the easiest or to make the most sense. And true faith means stepping out, not knowing where your foot will land.

A Special Gift

2006-04-24T14:17:00.000-07:00

April 22, 2006
This weekend, some friends gave us more items for our yard sale. While we were helping them move things from storage, they gave us a sweet surprise: a baby bassinet! (Once we get our film developed, we'll post pictures.) This adorable bassinet has been handed down through generations of their family, and was recently restored to current safety standards. As Phyllis tenderly unwrapped the bassinet after pulling it from storage, she was close to tears as she shared about her daughters and granddaughters that have used the bassinet. Each member of her family has contributed something to that bassinet (her mother's sewing, her son-in-law's woodworking, etc.) What a special treasure! It will fit perfectly in our little bedroom, if we want to have it there for awhile. We are so blessed to be honored with this gift.

Roxanne

2006-04-18T15:53:00.000-07:00

April 18, 2006
Since our caseworker, Betty, has been on medical leave, the other caseworker in the office has been overseeing our file. Her name is Roxanne. She let us know today that a few birthmoms have looked over our profile books lately (but no one has chosen us, yet.) It's so nice to know that our books are being circulated, and not just sitting on a shelf!

Please be praying for the moms that look at our books. We pray that God will touch their lives with a special blessing with the words we've written to them. (Our letters in the books were written to anyone who reads them; not just a mom who will choose us.)

It really seems to be a blessing that God has placed our file with Roxanne. She seems really sweet. She said that she has read through all of our files, books, etc., so we haven't been ignored! She suggested we meet with her sometime when we're in town, just so she can get to know us bettter. We've tentatively scheduled a meeting with her on Sunday, April 30th. (Yes, she's even willing to meet with us outside of office hours!) Please keep this meeting in your prayers. Roxanne also said that she will be meeting with the other caseworkers in the region on May 4th, and she should be able to get more information then.

Friends have been faithfully donating items for our yard sale! We're planning on holding the sale in June. If anyone wants to volunteer to help out, we would love to see you.

Support Your Local Pregnancy Center!

2006-04-03T15:47:00.000-07:00

April 3, 2006
Our church encourages supporting ministries in our local area, as well as tithing to our own church.

As Christians, we believe it is vital to support pregnancy centers in their work to minister to pregnant moms/dads, and their unborn babies. As a future adoptive family, we also believe this support is an important step in helping empower pregnant moms with choices other than abortion, and to minister to their spiritual and physical needs (whether or not they place their baby for adoption). As members of our community, we believe it is important to help develop healthy families.

Our local pregnancy center has wonderful programs to incorporate all these aspects of ministry, called "Steps for Moms & Dads." It is an educational incentive program to equip these "at risk" parents to have healthy families, and prevent abortions. They provide Biblical counseling, and parenting classes for the moms & dads. They have incentives called "baby bucks," which the parents earn by attending classes. They can use the "baby bucks" to "purchase" donated items at the pregnancy center for their baby, such as baby clothes, maternity items, etc. The pregnancy center also offers abstinence education programs for their clients, and for local schools.

On my lunch break today, I dropped off a bag of donation items for the pregnancy center's "baby bucks" incentive program. It was such a joy!

So, do your part, and support your local pregnancy center today! Many Christian pregnancy centers are part of the national Care Net network. (You can read more about their ministries by clicking on the link.) Or, you can find a center in your area by clicking here.)

Trash to Treasure?

2006-04-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

April 1, 2006
We have decided to start planning for a garage sale this summer as a way to help raise money for the adoption. So, this weekend, some friends brought over loads of stuff! We've crammed it all into our house in various nooks & crannies while we wait for summer to arrive.

Our dining room is now "accessorized" with desks, bags of clothes/other items, and an egg-crate mattress! We were able to fit a dresser, table, and TV in the outside shed, along with other bags & boxes of things. In the nursery, a computer is pushed in a corner under the baby swing, next to the crib. (It looks like we're expecting some techno baby!)

They also gave us their wooden rocking chair (over 20 years-old) for us to use with the baby, if we want. We'll need to see if we can re-attach the arms to make it more sturdy, but it was so sweet of them to bless us with this family treasure!

A Lesson from Elijah

2006-03-20T14:30:00.000-08:00

March 20, 2006
When I arrived at work this morning, I found this encouraging e-mail waiting for me. (It's one of those "weekly devotional" e-mails.)

God Will Take Care Of You!

1 Kings 17:4,9 “You will drink from the brook, and I have ordered the ravens to feed you…I have commanded a widow in that place to supply you with food.”

Just like Elijah, if you are following God’s will in your life, you can be sure that these words are true about you—“So he did what the Lord had told him” (1 Kings 17:5). You are not following God’s call because it is the most economically feasible thing to do, you are doing it because the word of the Lord has come to you (1 Kings 17:8).

Once you make this step, sometimes it may seem that things are a bit unstable. You don’t know for sure where your future support will come from. Elijah had been told by God that He would provide, but every morning of his life, Elijah had the wonderful opportunity of trusting God. He had no food for that day until “the ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening” (1 Kings 17:6).

Help from God and the form His care will take may come to you in very strange ways! For Elijah, God used ravens (which were unclean birds) and a foreigner (from outside of Israel), to supply the need. This should encourage us to believe that God has the ability to help us by touching people whom we least expect. He will always surprise us! He many times goes outside of “our box,” far beyond our narrow ideas or expectations. So for today, if you need a miracle of some sort, let your faith grow! Faith is the step you must take to move you between God’s promise to you and His provision for you! And as you take the step, never forget!!! God will take care of you! -Larry McKain, Executive Director, New Church Specialties

God's Amazing Answers

2006-03-15T17:03:00.000-08:00

March 15, 2005
Today, we paid another bill from our adoption agency. This one was for $3000! We had been expecting it for awhile, and thankfully, God had prepared us to pay it!

Today, I also received some answers to prayer regarding my work situation. Thankfully, my job will remain the same until it ends on August 31st. (Instead of ending immediately, which was initially proposed.) God worked a miracle in this situation! They are now providing me with 5 months to find a new job, and the board voted to give me a salary raise, along with an extra financial bonus! They also voted to maintain their maternity leave policy, if it is needed within the next 5 months.

Isn't it neat to see how God works? Thank you, everyone, for your prayers! (Keep praying!)

A Spiritual Battle

2006-03-08T10:16:00.000-08:00

March 8, 2006
It has been so encouraging to receive phone calls and e-mails this week from friends who have been praying for the job/adoption stuff. It is so nice to know that when I'm faced with slander and deception, God is all-powerful and all-knowing. We are believing that God is in control, and are trying to rely on His strength.

We continue to hold on to the faith that God has called us to adoption. And, when you're wholeheartedly trying to do God's will, there is often a spiritual battle that takes place. This is where prayer warriors' intercession is so vital. (Life is always "easier" when you take the "easy route!" But God never promises that it will be easy. He just promises to never leave us in the midst of it.) I've been reading through chapters 54-56 of Isaiah, which has been really inspiring.

Along with sending the verse of Isaiah 54:17 ("'No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me,' declares the Lord."), a friend sent this note as well:

"Michele~ Oh my goodness. If it is God's Will for you to have a child, and we both know that it is....no person is going to stop that. satan will try to throw you a curve ball. he already has...but you are more than a conquerer when you have Christ. I know you hear verses over and over again...but you know it's true. Your boss has no power to stop God's plan for your life. I'm excited to see what will happen!! And we're all here to cheer you on!!"

What Is God Doing?

2006-03-02T14:27:00.000-08:00

March 1, 2006
Do you ever have to just stop and look at your life, and laugh? Right now, I just have to laugh, and wonder, "What is God doing?" What will my life look like in the next... month? year?

I've gradually been recieving information that my job will most likely be changing... or eliminated. What does that mean for our life? For the adoption? Is this change actually for the better - albeit a bit unnerving? Or does this mean addtional struggles? The fact that I have actually received this information is a blessing. God used a man of integrity in our church to take a stand, and to go against the flow. This man decided that he could no longer withold this information from me with a clear conscience, and he talked with me this evening. Thank you, God, for this help. Now, what does it mean? (Keep praying!)

We have certainly embraced a life of adventure when we let God lead us! I can't see around the corner, but I know He can. This journey of adoption seems like it has gone on forever... and yet it's actually not that long.

I spoke with a friend today, who is in the process of developing a home daycare (but won't be opening for another few months). She found out the other day that she is approved to watch 3 children already, and is signed up for another class this month. I'm hoping we won't need to use daycare, but if we do, we've already decided to go with her. She said she would plan on trying to "save us a spot!" We don't have any grandmas/family in the area to babysit, so this is a big blessing! Plus, our church youth group right now is mainly a group of "troubled teens-" not exactly "babysitter material" yet. Arranging daycare is difficult when adopting. For most daycares, you need to "reserve a spot" for your child ahead of time. But with adopting, you have very little idea of when your child will be arriving... and thus needing care! Thanks, God, for taking care of these little details!

Pray for Betty

2006-02-23T14:26:00.000-08:00

February 23, 2006
We received a phone call from the adoption agency earlier this week regarding our caseworker, Betty. We were told that Betty's doctor has put her on medical leave due to stress. We don't know how long she will need to be on leave.

This doesn't affect our adoption at all- they have other caseworkers in the office to take care of things as needed. We just want to remember Betty in our prayers! (And this is definitely a good reminder of how stressful adoption really is!)

Mystery Groceries

2006-02-18T12:35:00.000-08:00

February 18, 2006
Today, our mail brought us another surprise! God sure works in mysterious ways, sometimes. We opened up an unidentifiable envelope that contained a grocery gift card, with a large enough value for a month's worth of groceries! Wow!

It is such a blessing! With having groceries provided, we are able to save up more toward adoption (and pay our taxes!). As we say, every little bit helps- although, this is more than just "a little bit!" Thank you, anonymous person, for being used by God.

God's Divine Purposes

2006-02-17T15:36:00.000-08:00

February 17, 2006
Today I received my weekly e-mail for "church leaders" at work, and I thought I'd share a part of it with you. It was encouraging to know that God's divine purposes are at work; we don't have to know all the details. But, He will give us the discernment and knowledge we need at just the right time, in order to do His will.

The Divine Purpose of God
Genesis 41:32 “…the matter has been firmly decided by God, and God will do it soon.”
"There is something mysterious about the divine purpose of God. He makes use of an endless variety of people and circumstances to accomplish His divine purposes. Whether its Potiphar's wife, Pharaoh's chief cupbearer, Pharaoh's dreams, Pharaoh himself, the dungeon, the throne, the famine, the enslavement of the people--all of these are instruments in the development of God's ultimate will for His people and all mankind.

How are you and I to understand this...? A well-known church leader in the New Testament told us, "The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God" (1 Cor 2:10). God gives to "the spiritual man" the discernment needed to comprehend these truths. All of this flows from God's plan to redeem us by His love so we can be "participators in the divine nature!" (2 Pet 1:4). Yes, His promise to US is that we can have "the mind of Christ" (1 Cor 2:16), and understand the divine purpose of God! Isn’t that exciting? Rejoice today in the knowledge that... YOU are a vital, participating part of God’s plan!"
Larry McKain, Executive Director-New Church Specialties

A Point-of-View

2006-02-15T11:57:00.000-08:00

February 15, 2006
Right now, we are praying for our future child's birthmother- whomever she may be. We don't know her, but God does. So, we pray. (Although praying for her is a step of faith in itself. Sometimes it seems hard to believe that such a person really exists... and yet we pray.)

Meanwhile, I came across a great article that wonderfully articulates a birthmother's point-of-view. It is a precious and rare look at a birthmother's heart. Here is the link: http://lifemothers.com/spoken.html . I highly recommend everyone read through it!

It also underlies the heart of our dream for adopting. We don't want to add to our family at the expense of someone else. It isn't our goal to "get a baby as soon as possible." We have taken this step of faith of being available within the ministry and miracle of adoption. Yes, we pray that God would fulfill our dream of being parents, but we also want birthmothers to be empowered to make their own informed choices between parenting & adoption. We only want to be entrusted with their child, if they truly choose it- not because it was "required."

God's Valentines

2006-02-14T10:43:00.000-08:00

February 14, 2006
Isn't it nice when God sends those little "valentines," letting you know that He cares?

This "waiting time" is tough, especially when so many people around us seem bored or discouraged with our adoption journey. I think they expected it to happen faster, and to be more "exciting" or something. Meanwhile, we are surrounded by families in our church who are pregnant. Since this is so visible, it is obviously more exciting than our Expectant Wait right now. People don't want to stop and hear how we're doing... it's much more fun to go pat a pregnant belly!

But God knows. And He sent me "valentines" just because. On Sunday, He sent a little 6-year-old boy to sit with me at church. I was sitting in a pew all by myself (while Calvin was in Worship Team), and little Kaelen came up during the service, and snuggled up in my arms! It was so fun to share his joy in the music!

Then, yesterday at work, a single mom came in to the office carrying her adorable 17-month-old girl. She set her daughter down to run around for a minute, and she immediately came running to me for a hug! What a sweetie! She snuggled up in my arms, and gave me a huge smile. She's only been walking for a few months now, and I was one of the first people she walked to! It's so special that she still loves to run to me.

Several days ago, Calvin was able to take this little girl's big brother (age 9) to the community pool. Stephen was thrilled to spend the evening with him, and apparently spent the day talking of nothing else! (He even chose his special "Hawaiian" print swimming outfit to wear for the "special occasion!") Stephen had a blast munching on Life Saver candies in the car, talking about Star Wars movies, and showing off his new swimming skills. (He's in swimming lessons right now.)

These kids may not know it, but they're blessings. Their parents are greatful that we love to babysit, and spend time with their kids. But I don't think they fully understand what it means to us to hold a tiny little hand, share a giggle, and join in a smile.

To top things off, I was awakened this morning not only with a beautiful rose and breakfast in bed... but snow falling outside the window! We haven't had snow since Jan. 2004, so this was such a special surprise. I really missed having snow this year, and it made the morning all sparkly and magical! Thanks, God, for your Valentines!

A Verse For Today

2006-02-06T15:29:00.000-08:00

February 6, 2006
Part of walking in faith with God is continually praising Him, even in tough times. We don't just praise Him for the specific blessings He gives us; we praise Him for the blessing that He is! In my reading this weekend, I came across The Message version of Psalm 113, that reminded me to keep praising God as we wait. He is the joy-giver!

"Hallelujah!

You who serve God, praise God! Just to speak his name is praise!

Just to remember God is a blessing-

now and tomorrow and always.

From east to west, from dawn to dusk,

keep lifting all your praises to God!

God is higher than anything and anyone,

outshining everything you can see in the skies.

Who can compare with God, our God, so majestically enthroned,

Surveying his magnificent heavens and earth?

He picks up the poor from out of the dirt,

Rescues the wretched who've been thrown out with the trash,

Seats them among the honored guests,

a place of honor among the brightest and best,

He gives childless couples a family,

gives them joy as the parents of children.

Hallelujah!"

Fundraising Brainstorming

2006-01-30T16:41:00.000-08:00

January 30, 2006
Since Betty suggested that we get creative in trying to raise funds for our adoption, we've been trying to brainstorm fundraising ideas. God has provided for the costs in each step of the adoption journey. Now, we still need to raise 60% of our final fees, which are due upon being chosen by a birthmother.

So far, our solution has been to add significantly to our Adoption Fund savings from our paychecks each month.

We are also attempting to apply for adoption grants, now that our homestudy has been finalized.

And, we are introducing a new solution: The "Donation" button! If you feel led to contribute to our Adoption Fund, just click on the "Make a Donation" button (on the left side of the screen, with the Links). It will take you to a secure PayPal page, which is linked to our Adoption Fund.
Please note that your donations will not be tax-deductible, since it is helping pay for a service. So, if you think this is tacky, just ignore it. :) Thank you!

Remember, the best way to help is to pray!

The Official Letter

2006-01-30T15:33:00.000-08:00

January 27, 2006
The "Official Letter of Approval" finally arrived in the mail from the Seattle office! It states that we have completed our homestudy, and are approved to adopt an infant. The letter also states that it is assumed that we are "prepared to bring a child home, and meet all the requirements at any time." So, we can legally have a baby now! (We just have to get ready!)

A Photo from Christmas

2006-01-26T10:51:00.000-08:00

Sorry, we're kind of slow in developing film.

So, here is a picture from Christmas morning, when we opened the baby stroller gift!

This photo is of Calvin setting it up for the first time. Good job, Dad!

Now it just needs a kid in it, huh? :)

Official Approval!

2006-01-26T10:13:00.000-08:00

January 26, 2006
We received a phone call from Betty (our caseworker) last night, telling us that our homestudy has been officially completed and approved! We are really excited! Thank you to everyone for your prayers in breaking down this roadblock! We can legally have a baby now!

She recommended that we start looking intently at finances. She suggested we try to get creative to come up with the funds we need. We still need to raise about 60% of the costs. Keep praying! We're trusting God for miracles. All the money is due at the time we are selected by a birthmother, so we're starting to feel in a "time crunch."

Lost and Found

2006-01-18T14:14:00.000-08:00

January 17, 2006
We finally decided to call the head office in Seattle, to see if we could get more information about our homestudy. We've been waiting for the approval for six months now, and our caseworker hasn't had any information for us.

So, when Calvin called Seattle, they informed him that our homestudy was missing from our file! They agreed to track it down right away, and called our caseworker in Portland.

So, then our {irked} caseworker called us... annoyed that we had gone over her head. But it worked! She finally discovered that when she had emailed our homestudy to the office in August, that it didn't go through. So, the office had never received it!

Plus, every month when we called to check on our homestudy, she hadn't bothered to look into why it was taking so long. She just passed the blame on "her supervisor." We are really frustrated, but excited that things finally seem to be on track in the right direction.

And, our caseworker called us the next morning to apologize.

They also said that no birthmoms have looked at our profile albums yet. (They try to match families with birthmoms' requests, and so far, there hasn't been a good "match.") This was disappointing to hear, but not unexpected, since our albums have only been available for 2 months.

Unexpected Encouragement

2006-01-11T10:10:00.000-08:00

January 10, 2006
On Tuesdays, our church's senior adults meet for Bible study in the room right across from my office. (It's one of my favorite days!) It is so fun to talk with all of them. These are people who seem to have all the time in the world to stop and listen (although you might need to talk loudly!). Many of them have a wealth of wisdom, but have to be encouraged to share it. Many of the lonely widowed ladies come in specifically for a hug and a smile, which I'm glad to give.

These "grandmas" are eager to see a new baby around the place, and will ask how our adoption is going once in a while. Most of them are ages 70-90- (impressive!)- and their grandkids are already grown up.

I met with one of the senior ladies yesterday after her Bible study to get some information for my work. (She was one of our first friends when we moved to the area!) After we finished our conversation, she started asking about our adoption. She has two grandkids that were adopted from foster care over 20 years ago, and it ended up being a really difficult journey. She was really encouraging, though, and let me know that she has been praying for us during this waiting time.

She said that "No kid comes with a manual," but she would definitely be praying. Plus, she's "only a phone call away!" And then she left to go to the gym for her yoga/pilates class. What a great lady!

Why Ask "Why?"

2006-01-04T10:43:00.000-08:00

January 3, 2006
As I was leaving work last night, an older friend of ours (in her 50's) stopped by to pick up a book, and we ended up leaving the building together. As we were talking about our plans for the evening, I mentioned that we had finally set up the crib last night. (Since she is always asking about our adoption stuff, I figured she would be excited to know.)
Instead, she just looked at me, and said "WHY?"

Umm...because we're having a baby??

Why ask "Why?" Why do people look at us like we're idiots when we talk about our preparations? We've actually procrastinated a lot longer than many adoptive couples in getting the nursery ready. (It's still not all the way ready!) Many families have completed their nursery even before the homestudy!

As expectant parents, we are preparing for our child. Most parents typically don't wait until they're in labor to start setting up the crib and buying diapers! It seems like we're doing the LEAST idiotic thing: Preparing.

The adoption agency has already expressed to us that we are expected to have at least the necessities for our child: a place to sleep, a carseat, diapers, formula, etc. We need to show that we are prepared to meet this child's needs. Otherwise, they won't place a child in our home! Even after we bring our baby home, the caseworker still has to do postplacement visits, to make sure everything is okay.

It seems like anyone (especially a mom!) would realize that it will be wonderful to have a place to put the baby to sleep, without having to try setting up the crib that night! It's all ready.

Yes, we may have months to wait, but realistically, a call could come at anytime. Plus, by setting up the crib, we created more room, not less. We had been constantly tripping over all the pieces and parts that were waiting to be put together. Now it looks more like a home, and less like a storage unit!

Setting Up the Nursery

2006-01-03T13:37:00.000-08:00

January 2, 2006
Since we both had the day off from work for the holiday, we decided to start setting up the nursery! We started turning our "guest room" into a "baby room!" (We moved the "guest bed" into our office/sewing room.)

Calvin did a great job as Dad, and put the crib together (with only a bit of frustration)! (Michele, of course, grabbed the camera, and took photos of the event!) It's kind of old, so we're hoping it stays sturdy enough to hold a kid for awhile! It was nice to get things a little better organized, and not just a room with a pile of baby stuff in the way.

We're hoping this new year will bring our baby home. We don't know how long our wait will be, though. Keep praying!

Anniversary Trip

2006-01-03T13:30:00.000-08:00

December 27, 2005
To celebrate our anniversary, we spent a couple days in Portland. It was so nice to revisit our favorite city- the place where we met, courted, and married; a city full of memories! (Relaxing in the hotel jacuzzi tub was a highlight, too!)

We also stopped by the big Target store, and used gift cards to pick up a few baby things. We were able to get a baby carrier and a baby monitor! It was such a blessing to be able to prepare a bit more. Thank you!

Christmas Day

2006-01-03T13:25:00.000-08:00

December 25, 2005
Well, we waited until Christmas Day to open that big baby stroller box! Calvin read through all the instructions right away, and figured out what all the different levers do. He practiced all the essential skills, such as putting on the brakes! It looks like it will be just perfect! (Now, we just need a baby to put in it!)

A Testimony

2005-12-21T12:15:00.000-08:00

December 21, 2005
On Monday, a lady who is new to our church stopped by my office. She ended up telling me her testimony of their adoption of their youngest daughter (who is now in high school)! (Isn't it neat how God brings people together?)

It was encouraging to hear her testimony of that time in her life. She described how God had closed doors, and opened other ones, while working upon her heart. He perfectly orchestrated a series of events to bring their little girl home to her new family! She whole-heartedly empathized with our current waiting period, and said, "When you least expect it, you'll get a phone call!"

Drippy Dishgloves

2005-12-13T11:36:00.000-08:00

December 13, 2005
Yesterday, I (Calvin) was hurrying to finish washing the dishes when there came a loud knock on the door. I opened the door and found the UPS delivery guy with a huge box. "Hello, I need you to sign for your package, please." But then he hesitated and looked at my hands. Looking down, I realized why. My bright yellow latex dish gloves were dripping water, making a puddle at my feet.

"Uh, let me take these off."

The UPS guy nodded.
After I signed for the box and the UPS guy- I wonder what his name is? - drove off, I lugged the box inside and discovered that my sweet, beautiful, mother-in-law had bought us a stroller! Thanks, Mom!

I do feel a little sorry for the UPS guy. At that time of the day he was probably expecting a dutiful housewife with cleaning gloves on. I'm sure he was taken back by my powerful physique and aurora of kingly authority as I stood there in my drippy dishgloves. :) Well, I'm sure he has seen it all.

I think I'll take the Maclaren stroller out for a test drive and see what this baby can do.

Today, we recieved a can of formula in the mail! Who says there's no such thing as a free lunch?

FAQ's

2005-12-12T13:49:00.000-08:00

December 12, 2005
Since we've been immersed in all this adoption stuff for about a year (we attended our first info meeting in Nov. 2004), we often forget that people still have some basic questions about adoption. So, here is a list of some "frequently asked questions" (and our answers!) to help you out!

(Q.) Where will you be adopting from?
(A.) We are in the Domestic Adoption program, which means our child will be born in the United States. So far, we have chosen to only send our information to Oregon and Washington offices, so that we don't have to travel very far. However, we are still open to adopting a child of any race.

(Q.) When will you bring your baby home?
(A.) Right now, we are still waiting for a birthmom to choose us. During the process of chosing an adoptive family for their child, potential birthparents look through photo albums and letters from each family. Typically, they will choose to meet us before making their final decision. Then, we get "THE CALL," telling us we've been chosen! The average wait for a baby is about 18 months.

(Q.) How old will your child be?
(A.) We are waiting for a child under 6 months old. Sometimes following birth, babies are placed in "interim care" (a special foster care-type home), while legal paperwork is being completed, so they may be a few months old before being placed with an adoptive family. Other times, the adoptive parents are welcome at the birth, and are able to bring the baby home from the hospital, after legal paperwork is completed. It is all a combination of working with the birthparents' wishes and the state legal requirements.

(Q.) Is it a boy or a girl?
(A.) Yes! :) Since we haven't been chosen yet, we don't know what God will bring us. Just as if we were pregnant, we are open to either one.

(Q.) Will you have an open or closed adoption?
(A.) We would like a very open relationship, if possible, with our child's birth family. Adoptions are very rarely closed nowdays. Typically, it is just a question of "how much" openness there will be. We are hoping to provide letters, pictures, and occasional visits for the birth family. We feel it is a gift to our child to provide them access to learning about their heritage & medical history, and an opportunity for us to love their biological family members as well.

(Q.) Can the birthparents ever take the baby away?
(A.) Each state's laws governing placements are a bit different, so part of it depends on which state the child is born in. Some states require more time before finalization than others. It is possible, that a child may be placed with us- or in an interim home- before the birthparents have completed all their paperwork to relinquish parental rights, and they would still be able to "change their minds" and decide to parent. Essentially, though, once all the legal stuff is finalized in the proper manner, the answer is "No." Eventually, we will go to court with an attorney to finalize the adoption. At this point, the child's name will officially be changed to ours, and their birth certificate will list us as parents.

(Q.) If there is another agency that would help you bring home a baby faster, would you consider it?
(A.) No. We have prayerfully researched our options, and we feel God has directed us to Bethany Christian Services. It has been on our hearts to minister to pregnant women- whether or not they place their children for adoption. Bethany offers counseling and support groups for these women, along with their families- pre-and post-placement. They also offer the moms resources to assist in their decision-making, whether they choose to parent or to place their children. Bethany also provides "shepherding homes" for women who need a supportive family during their pregnancy. Many other agencies ignore the mother, just to "get the baby." It is our goal to be a resource, not to "shop for a baby." We believe God will bring our child home in His perfect time. Also, the state of Oregon has very firm adoption laws. Many adoption facilities around the country are not legal in Oregon, even though their methods are legal in other states.

(Q.) How are you feeling?
(A.) We are excited for our child to come home, and we are eager to see what God will do. The unknown wait is difficult to live with sometimes, since we don't have the "9 Months" that most expectant parents do. We are "paperwork pregnant" and are trying to prepare in faith as best we can. Some days are more hope-filled than others. Waiting for a miracle is difficult! We are thrilled to be involved in adoption- not just as a way to grow our family, but also as a ministry.

(Q.) How can we pray?
(A.) Please pray that God will prepare us as parents, and that He would provide the necessary resources & finances. Remember to pray for the safety and health of our birthmom, along with peace and wisdom in her life. Please pray that she, along with her family, would recieve all the information and counseling support that she needs. We also ask for prayer for all the little details that are involved in bringing a child home, such as timely paperwork, job schedules, etc. We also pray that God would prompt those around us in our church and community to be supportive & encouraging for our family during this time. We have also prayed continually that God would touch the life of our child as he/she grows up.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

2005-12-05T13:06:00.000-08:00

December 5, 2005
This year, it has been tough to motivate ourselves to do all the traditional "holiday" stuff. Sometimes it seems like we're just going through the motions, because we "should." Various decorations, foods, and music bring back memories of the past holiday season when we were a family of three. Putting up stockings was the most difficult task so far. There is an overwhelming hope that someday we'll be able to share the joys of the season with children.

Other times, though, we love looking around our home, enjoying the peaceful "homey" feel, with the little white Christmas lights in our windows, cinnamon candles burning, Celtic Christmas hymns in the background, and sugar cookie sprinkles all over the kitchen. We love falling asleep nestled in pillows in front of the fire, reading books with cups of tea, and sharing Advent. We cherish our marriage- our family of two- and love spending time together. But sometimes, in order to enjoy the season, our ways of celebrating the holidays are different from others' expectations. We love to travel during Christmas; to enjoy the special-ness of the season on mini vacations- to the beach or the city. Others often expect us to go to friends' or families' homes, so they can "keep us company, " and act surprised at our response when they ask, "Just the TWO of you?!"

Yes... it is just the two of us. We are a family of two.

Due to our work schedules, we're often not home together very much. So, we love taking the holidays to spend entire days together. What a blessing! Now, don't get me wrong- we do enjoy roadtrips to visit friends and family. Thank you to everyone who has welcomed us. But sometimes we want time to just BE a family; to slow down and rest. (And I'm sure we'll get that Christmas tree put up eventually...)

I found a wonderful article from the Adoptive Families magazine, which talked about experiencing the holidays during the WAIT. Click Here to Read the Article

A New Month

2005-12-05T12:53:00.000-08:00

December 1, 2005
Calvin called Betty, our caseworker, today to inquire about the status of our homestudy. We're still waiting for the state's final approval. She had anticipated it being completed by the end of November. But, she reported that she still hadn't heard anything; especially since most of the staff had been gone for Thanksgiving week. Betty confirmed that our profile books had been distributed to the caseworkers at their November staff meeting, and said that she would call us if she heard anything. So, we'll just wait and pray that our paperwork doesn't get lost, that it is viewed at the right time by the right people, and gets approved! (Our books are now available for birthmoms to look at; it's just the final state approval that we're waiting for.)

We do have a praise that God provided $600 for our adoption fund! We're trusting Him to meet the expenses of this journey, which He has been faithful to do so far.

Mail Call

2005-11-29T14:59:00.000-08:00

November 28, 2005
When we arrived home from work, we found a stack of fun "baby" mail! There were surprise gifts purchased off our registry, and a box with a "free sample" diaper in it. When we have tangible things like baby clothes to hold on to, it makes the "expecting time" less abstract. It reminds us that there will be a REAL baby here someday! (Plus, it helps us to get ready!) I think Grandma is getting excited! Thank you!

A Grown-Up's Guide

2005-11-17T15:56:00.000-08:00

November 17, 2005
I found this article online today, and I loved it! It has all the points we've been trying to explain to everyone.

Cross-Cultural Adoption: The Do's and Don'ts for Grown-Ups
By Amy Coughlin and Caryn Abramowitz

"Not sure how to handle questions about cross-cultural adoption? Learn how to best ask and answer these questions while nourishing an adopted child's sense of cultural self and showing she is a natural part of the family. . .

Parents and children of these families are sure to encounter numerous questions which must be answered carefully to avoid devastating a child's sense of self and instead foster love, acceptance, and belonging.

So just what are the best ways for parents to answer questions about a child's adoption? (And what questions should the rest of us avoid asking?) Read on for a list of the "do's and don'ts."

What You Should Do

Do treat her like any other kid.
Avoid the temptation to spoil her because she didn't have everything that the other kids had in the first few months or years of her life. The most valuable gifts you can offer these children are patience, routine, and consistency -- and most of all, unexaggerated expressions of love and devotion.
Do support her when curious strangers ask questions. When curious (and sometimes thoughtless) strangers ask questions or feel the need to comment on the circumstances of the adoption, do not let them lead you into uncomfortable territory. Instead, gently steer them back to more suitable small talk or respond in such a way that shifts the conversation to positive adoption language that in turn lets the child know that you are on her side.
Do respect her privacy. Adopted children have the same need for and the right to privacy as you do. They do not want their entire life story being told to strangers. If she hears you discussing the intimate details of her origins, she will likely feel embarrassed. Until the child is old enough to decide for herself how much information she would like to share regarding her background, please respect her privacy.
Do treat prospective adoptive parents the same as expectant parents. Adopting a child is just as exciting for soon-to-be parents as being pregnant. They feel the same way all expectant parents do -- overjoyed, overwhelmed, nervous, impatient, and most of all, excited. Don't be afraid to ask adopting parents about these feelings. After all, adoption is neither a secret nor a source of embarrassment or shame.
Do acknowledge and celebrate the differences. One of the best things you can do to show your support as well as your love for the adopted child in your life is to learn a bit about the culture and history of her birth [heritage]. Read a couple of books, especially travel books. Even if you have no plans to travel there, there is no better way to get the feeling of another country.

What You Should Not Do

Don't introduce her as adopted. The pain this inflicts on the child is obvious. The child is made to feel inferior, like she will never be considered a real part of the family. The rule is simple: Don't ever, ever do this.
Don't say how "lucky" she is. After hearing this enough times, the child can be made to feel like a lifelong charity case, rather than the cherished child she is. Yes, she is lucky, but so is any child who has a supportive, loving family. And we parents are lucky, too, to have been able to create this loving, supportive family.
Don't assume adoption is a second choice. The reasons people choose to adopt are as varied and unique as the people themselves. While it is true that many choose adoption because of infertility, it is also true that many choose adoption for myriad other reasons as well. Many people choose to adopt not because they are out of other options, but rather because they believe that adoption is the best choice for them.
Don't jump to conclusions about the birth mother. Often thought of as weak, irresponsible, cheap, and worthless, birth mothers often suffer a lifetime of pain far greater than that of childbirth. Please don't jump to the wrong conclusion that these women are any different than you and me or that they love their children any less.
Most cross-cultural adoptive families know little or nothing about the circumstances that led their child's birth mother to relinquish her child. What they do know is that they love their children's birth mothers because they are a part of their children and it is because of them that their beloved children are who they are.
Don't tell us we're sure to have "our own" now. She is our own. Those parents who choose adoption because of infertility do not secretly harbor lifelong yearnings for a biological child. Having "our own" is now irrelevant; the child we have is the one we want and it is inconceivable that we could love or want any child more. Like all parents, we have the best. "

To read the full article, click here.

Just Browsing

2005-11-16T16:23:00.000-08:00

November 16, 2005
Today, while we were doing a little Christmas shopping during lunch, we decided to browse through the baby department, now that the store's construction is complete. We inspected strollers, high chairs, and bouncers, and Calvin really had fun driving a stroller around. He was especially impressed at how it could turn sharp corners, and he took a few minutes to send it speeding around the clothing racks!

God's Gifts

2005-11-11T14:10:00.000-08:00

November 11, 2005
While ordering ministry materials online today for work, I stumbled upon an online devotional in which a woman relates the journey of adopting her baby son from Korea. She writes that God had placed the desired upon her heart when she was 5-years-old to adopt from Korea. Years, later, her dream was finally fulfilled. It was encouraging to read how God worked miracles throughout the entire adoption process.

Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord [Roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; Trust [lean on, rely on, and be confident] also in Him and He will bring it to pass. (Psalm 37:4-5, AMP)

"God places the divine desire for His gifts within our heart with a promise that the desire will come to pass in His will and way. The desires of the heart integrate with the process of our growth in life. The process is not about attaining the gift but receiving the gift from the God. Part of this process is the discovery of how to keep the focus off the desire and upon the delight of the Lord. It isn't always easy. In reality, seeking God first is a lifetime process. In Him, we commit our way through each and every day. Matthew 6 reminds us that we are to seek Him first and all other things will be added on. It is a discipline to seek Him first believing that He is sufficient for all that we face and desire in life. There are times that the desires of our heart are magnified beyond any other desire. As this occurs we come to a point that we must choose to push through the desire; seeking Him first, trusting, leaning on, relying on and putting our confidence back in the Lord. Delight, commit, and trust are gifts to be continually received in the spiritual journey.
Heavenly Father, I delight in YOU. YOU are King of kings and Lord of Lords. YOU are sovereign and in control. I thank YOU for the desires that you plant in my heart. I delight in the fact that YOU have a plan and a purpose to use the desire. I commit my way to YOUR way. My life is in YOUR hands. I trust YOU regardless of my visible circumstances. YOU promise to never leave me, nor fail me, but to always be with me. Thank YOU Lord. I love YOU Lord. In YOUR name, Amen.
Receive the gift of delighting in the Lord today. Receive the gift of committing in the Lord today. Receive the gift of trusting in the Lord today. Experience the gift of divine delight, commitment and trust. The Gift goes on..."
( Kerrie L. Palmer) Click Here to Read the Complete Devotional Series

Today's Verse

2005-11-10T13:36:00.000-08:00

November 10, 2005
We found this encouraging verse today:
"But these things I plan won't happen right away; slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!" HABAKKUK 2:2

Study Hard!

2005-11-09T16:51:00.000-08:00

November 9, 2005
Calvin went to a "New Baby Care" class at the hospital last night. (Michele couldn't go because of a meeting at work.) So, Calvin took very detailed notes on diapering, feeding, dressing, and all those other essential baby care tasks! He even brought home papers on how to do baby massage. The instructions ended up being posted on the fridge, next to the feeding stages/instructional guide he had put on the fridge last week! It reminds me of "finals week" at college, when we would post "study guides" in the kitchen!

The class instructor had some interesting advice. She said that the bulb syringes are "non-essential," and that she never sends them home with parents because they use them "improperly, and in the wrong orfices!" So, I'm wondering why this nurse didn't TEACH the parents how to use this very useful tool. Babies can't blow their own noses! What if they get a cold? I think I'm going to go get a bulb syringe... She also said that burping babies isn't necessary, either. Hmm... I guess we'll just let the kid deal with painful gas bubbles. No big deal, right? But, she did give good information about when to call a doctor (if the baby is turning blue, has a fever of 101*, etc.), so I guess we're prepared for emergencies.

Before the class, we wandered around "Toys R Us" together. We were there to get bedding for the baby travel bed (posted earlier), but we also had fun trying out all the toys, and reminiscing about our favorite childhood toys. Did you know that See & Say Toys are completely different from how they were 20 years ago? We did find Care Bears and Hot Wheels, though. Calvin had fun hearing me tell him all of my mom's reasons why I couldn't get certain items as a child. It was all wonderful mommy advice, such as: "No, you can't get that board game; you'll lose all the pieces" "No, you can't get that; it'll be too hard to wash." "No, you can't get a huge gumball; it won't fit in your mouth, and you'll drool." (Thanks, Mom! I love you!)

Baby Gifts

2005-11-08T13:53:00.000-08:00

November 8, 2005
A friend of ours stopped by my office today, and dropped off a few "hand-me-down" baby items, including a baby swing! Her youngest child is 15 months old, so everything is still pretty new. It was such a fun surprise! She had even washed everything, put the toys through the washing machine, etc., which is a big help. What a blessing! It is so neat to see others getting excited along with us and helping us get ready.

Prayer Warriors

2005-11-03T16:46:00.000-08:00

November 3, 2005
So far today, we have had about 3 different people tell us they are praying for our child & adoption journey. It is such a blessing to know that our child will be surrounded by the prayer support of their grandparents, friends, and other family members. I believe one of the best things you can do for a child is pray for them. Thank you.

The Act of Faith

2005-11-01T13:00:00.000-08:00

November 1, 2005
At this point in our journey, all we can do is prayerfully wait & prepare in faith. We don't want to get in the way of what God is doing. We were really able to indentify with what Eugene Peterson writes in his introduction to the book of Hebrews in The Message Bible:

"It seems odd to have to say so, but too much religion is a bad thing. We can't get too much of God, can't get too much faith and obedience, can't get too much love and worship. But religion- the well intentioned efforts we make to 'get it all together' for God- can very well get in the way of what God is doing for us. The main and central action is everywhere and always what God has done, is doing, and will do for us. Jesus is the revelation of that action. Our main and central task is to live in responsive obedience to God's action revealed in Jesus. Our part in the action is the act of faith. But more often than not we become impatiently self-important along the way and decide to improve matters with our two cents' worth. We add on, we supplement, we embellish. But instead of improving on the purity and simplicity of Jesus, we dilute the purity, clutter the simplicity. We become fussily religious, or anxiously religious. We get in the way."

You Can Get Excited Now

2005-10-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

October 27, 2005
We made the long drive, and met with Betty, our caseworker, this morning to turn in our profile albums. She read through the albums, and even got teary-eyed as she read our "Dear Birthparent" letters. She said the albums were perfect, and was really excited to see them.

She will be meeting with the Washington caseworkers on November 8th, and will hand out our albums to them at that meeting. Our homestudy legal paperwork should be finished processing through the state by the end of November. (Although, our albums could possibly be shown before the official completion.)

Betty mentioned that they have 3 pregnant moms at the Oregon office right now that are due in the Spring. It is still a bit early to start showing them family profile albums, since it is preferable to wait until they are further along in their pregnancy/counseling process before they begin considering families. Betty hadn't heard yet how many moms are working with the Washington offices right now.

It was a good time of just chatting with Betty, and getting questions answered. She said "You can start getting excited now, and start putting the nursery together!" (To see our nursery plans, you can click on the Baby Registry site, listed on the Links section on the left side of our blog.)

The Waiting Begins

2005-10-21T11:12:00.000-07:00

October 20, 2005
Betty called us at 9:00 am from her cell phone, even though she was out of town, to schedule our next appointment. (We had called earlier, and left a message; assuming she would respond when she returned.) It was good to hear from her again.

So, we have an appointment to take our profile albums up to her office on Thursday, October 27.

We've still been working on grant applications, but other than that, all we can do now is patiently & prayerfully wait.

Special Visitor

2005-10-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

October 19, 2005
Today, a Christian African-American man whom our church does business with occasionally, stopped by my office for his scheduled visit. After all the paperwork stuff was complete, he surprised me by handing me a photo album! Inside were pictures of his beautiful new baby girl! He mentioned that they had adopted her this year, and I told him we were adopting also. He asked where we were in the process, and described a little bit about their journey as well. I had one of our adoption profile albums close by, so he was able to look through it. He seemed to enjoy looking through it, and complimented it throughout.

He stayed for quite awhile, and I tried to soak up all the information he could give me. Not only did he have some great comments about the general adoption process, but he also had some wonderful advice for parents who are potentially adopting minority/biracial infants. As a biracial couple, he and his wife have also recently been speakers for adoptive parent training classes! Since we are open to adopting a child of any race, he emphasized a fact I had read recently and pondered over, which is that "You need to make friends with people of other races who can give you the advice you need in parenting a biracial child." Then he said, "So, I am now your good friend. You and Calvin are welcome to call us anytime, and we'd love to get together for dinner & talk." He specifically encouraged us to make Christian biracial friends, if possible, since of course, that is how we want to raise our family.

So, God has succeeded in surprising us again, as he is preparing us along this journey. He had a purpose in bringing this man into my office today. It wasn't a coincidence. It was an answer to prayer.

God's Math

2005-10-18T14:21:00.000-07:00

October 17, 2005
God has blessed us again! We received a check for $500 to go in our adoption savings! (This is unrelated to the financial gift previously mentioned a few days ago.) We are praising God for His provision. It is so amazing to see "God's math" at work; that He is able to "multiply and divide" dollars in the miraculous way only He can.

A Call From Betty

2005-10-12T16:45:00.000-07:00

October 12, 2005
Betty, our caseworker, called this morning to see how our albums were coming along. It was exciting to be able to tell her that they're all done! She said that she will be out of the office for about a week, so we will work on scheduling a time to visit her office after she returns. She was happy to know that we're all "on the same page, timewise."

The CPR class went well last night, so we're all prepared now. The instructor was kind of "spastic," so it was an interesting evening. She couldn't find any of those little wallet-size CPR cards, so she just wrote a note saying we had completed the class. (We needed to prove to Betty that we had completed it, so that she could mark that in our file.) I felt like a kid asking for a hall pass or something!